Its quiet for a moment

Hello

I know that it has been a while since I have written anything. It has been an interesting last couple of weeks around our house. The tricky thing is where do I begin? How about the beginning?

I know at my last post I was saying that I was ready for whatever happened next. Well, I guess I thought I was. It is amazing what you can get through when you are going through it. I know that sounds redundent, but I do not know who else to say it.

Two weeks ago tomarrow, my health took a turn. I knew that things were getting bad, I knew where I needed to go I just was not ready to go there. But, as the day wore on, things grew worse. So, we packed our bags and dropped the kids off at our home teachers house for the rest of the evening. Thus beginning a long list of people that have helped us along this road to Jericho that I have been traveling down.

We arrrived at the hospital and were admitted to Labor and Delivery. Then we were told that if the lab work came back abnormal that we had to prepare ourselves for delivery. They set up a consult with the NICU people and then we sat and waited. They was not much said between Mike and I, nothing really. Into the silence, Mike said, I could have any name I wanted. I was not thinking names at the time, but did not respond. He then said, that he knew I wanted Katherine Diane and that was what the name was going to be. I said alright and that was about it.

When the lab work came back alright, I was admitted to the Parinatel unit into my usual room which is 377. I was in this room with the girls and with Joseph. I would have had to read Rose Medical Center the Riot Act if they did not put me there. I think that it helped that I mentioned it to the nurse and she saw to it that I was placed in there. It just happened to be opened at the time. Just so everyone knows, it has tan colored walls with a border of tan colored ivy that spans the top of the walls around the room. Parts of the border by the bathroom door and the window are peeling off a little. This I know because I had time to study the walls in detail.

The first night I received a steriod shot to help mature the lungs. Then I had to begin receiving insulin shots 4 times a day to counter act the steriod shots which throw your glucose levels off. They also had to figure out what to put me on to help get the blood pressure under control. This is kind of a hit or miss thing because they do not know what dose will help, how much to give, ect. That night they offered me an Ambien, but I said no, but then the nurse insisted to help me sleep. But the ironic thing is that can anyone really sleep at a hospital? Is that possible?

The next day, the doctors decieded to place me on new medication and see how I responded. I also got my glucose moniter to begin pricking my finger. I stayed a couple of extra days to see how my body would respond. I received the next dose of the steriod shot. I forgot how much they hurt. I got them with the girls, but I was high on drugs and in pre-term labor so I do not remember. All that needs to be said is that my bottom was sore for about a week after. So, it was another night of Ambien. Which was interupted by lots of contractions and another near delivery moment. For some reason the night nurse had hooked me up to the moniter around 11:00 p.m. and then came in and said, can you feel those contractions that are coming about every 2-3 minuets? I said well it does feel a little tight. So, there we go again. The nurse is getting me into the wheel chair and the resident and nurse are walking quickly down the hall to triage to examine me. At this point, it is almost midnight and it is snowing outside. I say to the nurse, should I call Mike?! She says calmly, well lets just wait and see. I was told yet again I had to prepare myself for delivery if the exam did not go well and if the results turned out abnormal. So, I layed there and then prayed and commited myself into the Lord's hands. It was a very helpless feeling, all I could say is that "Thy will be done." Whatever that may be.

The Lord's will was done and things calmed down. Did I mention, that at that point I was camping, I had not taken a shower and I am sure I smelled just lovely for the exam. Oh well, what are you going to do? The next morning I was wheeled over to Dr. Lindsey's office who is the high risk specialist who I saw with the girls. I was wheeled in and then left in the hall to wait for a moment to see the tech. While waiting there looking and smelling lovely, I noticed a couple leaving one of the exam rooms. She was dressed in a very nice pant suit with a fancy coat and he was dressed in a suit also with a fancy coat. They both looked fresh and clean and cheerful. I have to admit in that current state of affairs I was jealous of her. She looked over at me with an inquisitive look and then she looked away. I am sure I looked beautiful and smelled even better. I wanted to say to her, you are only one step a way from where I am, so you had better be careful. (Just kidding) (Although not really, she would only be seeing him if she was having some problems.)

I had an ultra-sound there at the office and saw the baby really clearly. Her face is really cute and her chin reminds me of Rachel's chin. Those ultra-sounds are crystal clear at that office, it was nice to see the baby. She is doing great and everything there is looking the way it should.

The next day in the hospital was my birthday. I guess the only good thing about having a birthday in the hospital is that everyone you see and talk to wishes you a happy birthday. Every time I ordered a meal, happy birthday. Every doctor I saw, happy birthday. Every nurse, tech, the lady cleaning my room, happy birthday. It was actually pleasent. It was the most times in my whole life that I was wished a happy birthday. The kids came down and we opened presents and then they sang to me. It was sweet. Then Joseph broke my heart when he left and said it was hard to leave me there. You try and be strong and stoic. You try to put on a happy face, but it is difficult when carrying a heavy burden. When you face the uncertainty of the furture. When you face another long, cold, lonely night all alone. Needless to say, I broke down later that night. It was very emotional for me. On long cold nights you begin to think. It is more like pondering really.

Sorry kids and Mike are back, I will write more later and also put on some new pictures soon.