The Denver Nelson's

Just Because I love you and Miss You

2012-01-03T13:49:00.000-08:00

Dear Katherine:

Now that New Year's is over, I am beginning to think about your sweet angel birthday that will be coming up here in a couple of weeks. You will be three. Ah, sweet, sweet Katherine I love you and miss you so much it hurts. Happy early Birthday my angel, I will be thinking of you a lot these next couple of weeks. I know that you are happy and safe. I know that you miss me as much as I miss you. I know that you will get the balloon that I will send up to you soon. Do you want a pink one with flowers as usual? I know that pink flowers are your favorite. The pink flowers are so soft, sweet and tender just like you.

I love you,

Love,

Mom

Christmas Day and New Year's

2012-01-03T13:43:00.000-08:00

Wake Up Grandpa, its Christmas!

The Girls and Ryan all got Razors for Christmas

Reading with Lauren

Enjoying the New Scooters

Here are the pictures from Christmas morning and the rest of the trip. We all enjoyed opening up the presents and then heading off to church with Mike's sister and her family. We then enjoyed a great afternoon and evening over at my aunt's house for dinner. They girls loved their razor scooters and sure had fun riding them with thier cousin Ryan. On our last night in Utah we had a fun family dinner all together at the Nelson's.

We made it back to Denver in time for New Year's. We spent Friday night at my friend's Kristie and Kevin's house where we visited with my other very close friends Melissa and Elizabeth with all the kids of course! The four of us have been friends for going on 10 years now, we have had 9 children total since then and have been a major support to eachother through a lot of ups and downs. The next night we were invited over to my dear friend Tiffany's house for the "official" New Year's Eve and had a great time there as well. We lasted until about 10:30, enjoying great food, friends, some darts, and one tv show about building cars that all the big boys were watching. All in all, a great weekend of great friends, I feel truly blessed! I know that sounds sappy, but I mean it!

For Christmas, Mike and I bought a new desk top computer and for our birthdays, we bought a new camera. We are finally making into the new era of technology, I want you all to be impressed. But, Mike needed to take the lap top to teach at class so we needed a computer for me to have here.

I was called and set apart to work as a voleenter in the baptistry of the temple this past weekend as well. I interviewed with the 1st Councelor of the temple and then he set me apart to work there. I am not sure when I will be working there, I am still waiting to hear about that. But, it is official, I will start some time soon I would anticipate.

Happy New Year's!

Christmas in Utah

2012-01-02T11:32:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas Katherine

We had a great Christmas Season this year. It was super busy, but super fun! We went to Utah for the first time in about seven years for Christmas and enjoyed lots of family. The girls had a great time celebrating their birthdays with Grandparents and Cousins. We enjoyed a fun trip downtown to see the lights of Temple Square. We then had a great evening on Christmas Eve over at Mike's sister's house where we had dinner, made cookies, and then read the Christmas story. I will post later about Christmas Day and New Years. Needless to say, we had a great time.

Fun at the Ward Christmas Party

Happy 7th Birthday Girls!

With Ryan


With Savannah

Happy 7th Birthday Girls with Cousins at Cafe Rio

With Nathan

Lots of Fun at Temple Square

Christmas Eve at the Smith's

Making Lots and Lots of Cookies

The Christmas Story

Joseph was Joseph of course!

Grandpa was the innkeeper

Rachel was the Angel and the Star

The Fall

2011-12-07T11:46:00.001-08:00

Corn Maze

Devils Gate Hike

Devil's Gate Hike

So, we have had a very busy fall! It has been filled with all sorts of great school activities for the kids and Halloween and Thanksgiving. With Mike's new job, he works some half days and has some bank holidays off so he and I have enjoyed some daytime dates while the kids have been in school. We enjoyed a fun day hike to Devil's Gate. It was a steep difficult hike but worth it at the top, just beautiful at the top. Joseph has been working really hard on his piano playing and auditioned for the Jazz Band at school and made it it, so we are super proud of him of course! The girls have been saving up their money and thanks to both Grandma Romney and Grandma Nelson were able to have enough money to go and buy American Girl Dolls along with an outfit each! They loved it of course! Then we went out to lunch in the food court at the mall, they were in heaven. It was a fun early birthday celebration. We are looking forward to a busy rest of the month as we are heading out to Utah for Christmas. I know we are all excited for that for sure! I continue my riding and I am now riding a new horse at the barn named SoHo who is a Through bread Bay Gelding who I love! That keeps me busy along with being a mom and a Gospel Doctrine Teacher at church. I also finally received my license of the Colorado Board of Education to Substitute teach in the State and will register the license after the first of the year when things calm down a bit. I have also submitted my name to work in the temple in the baptistry and have already been contacted about that and will also begin working there after the first of the year. Mike enjoys his other night job at College America and is now teaching an 8 week course on Accounting. Keeps him busy, but he really likes doing it.

Near the Summit

At the Look Out Tower

Beautiful Colorado Blue Sky

Over 10,000 feet

My Birthday girl

My Daphne for Halloween

My Dorothy for Halloween

My Birthday girls with Kit and Josephina

Proud owner of Josephina

Buying her Doll

Fun Birthday Lunch


Kit's first Lunch

Just Because I love You and Miss You

2011-09-29T13:19:00.000-07:00

Mike worked his half day yesterday so he and I met up around 12:30 to go see Katherine and then go out to lunch on a date. We went to see our sweet Katherine to give her flowers as usual.

I have been meaning to put the words that hand on a plaque by the statue of the angel holding the baby. You know which one right? That beautiful and peaceful statue that I love. I wrote the words that are insribed. Here they are:

Going Home (that is the title of the statue)

May the Source of Peace send Peace to all who Mourne and Comfort the Bereaved Among Us

Molly Dee Hankin

December 14, 1999

Under the source of peace quote are letters that look like they may be written in Hebrew, although I am not sure, but for sure another language.

As we were there, a family pulled up and got out. It turned out that they were the family of the little boy who is buried next to Katherine. The baby's name is William. It was William's birthday yesterday and the family was there to celebrate it with him. William has been there with Katherine ever since Katherine has been there. He was buried there a few short months before her. William's father asked what had happened to Katherine and we told him and then he said that was the same thing that happened to William! The same time as well. William has just turned 5 months. William was the middle boy of three boys. He has an older brother who is 5 and a younger brother who is about 2. William's father said something very interesting to us as well. He said that so many people say they understand how it feels to loose a child. He said that he did not believe them. But, when he met us, he knew that we understood. We said oh yes, how we understand! Happy Birthday sweet angel William. I am so glad that you are in heaven with my sweet angel Katherine. Perhaps we will be able to meet some day. William was turning 3, as my Katherine will be turning three in January. Farewell and Happy Birthday!

The Beautiful Martin's Cove

2011-09-22T17:52:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Martin's Cove

Getting the Hand Cart Ready

Ready for the Hike

For Some Must Push (Dad)

Some must Ride (Rachel and Juliana)

For Some Must Pull (Mike and Joseph)

At the Cart Stop

At the Top of the Cove

At the Cove

A quote in the Museum from Mike's Ancestor

So, for years and years Mike and my Dad has wanted to go to Martin's Cove. So, over Labor Day weekend we went. We loved it! It was so much fun! Just a four hour drive to Rawlins WY from Denver. Mom and Dad flew into DIA and then we drove out. Staying in Rawlins was perfect. It is an hour drive up to the Cove from there. We spent the day at the Cove. We began by watching a couple of movies about the history of the site. We then got a cart and then proceeded on an eight mile hike round trip to and from the cove. It is about three miles up to where you park your cart and then about a mile and a half into the cove. You cannot take a cart up into the cove as it is tight curves and steep hills to get up there. But, it is totally worth it. The feeling of peace and sacredness was so powerful. It is quiet and peaceful up there with a rugged beauty to the trees, wild life, and underbrush. We saw quite a bit of wild life, but thankfully no rattle snakes which is just fine with me. We then hiked back to the visitor center where we ate lunch and witnessed the 2nd baptism being held that day in the Sweet Water River. There are about 30 baptisms there a year in the famous or shall I say infamous river. It is so serene and beautiful when we were there. But, come winter with the heavy snow and constant wind I can see how it could be very dangerous. The Sweet Water winds throughout the beautiful rugged valley that you have a great view of coming out of the cove. The Saints took shelter up in the cove during the harsh winter storm that fateful October. They spent about 5 days in the cove waiting for the storm to blow over. History indicates that about 50 people died up in the cove. Their loved ones attempted to bury them in the hard, frozen ground by day only to hear the prowling wolves come out at night and eat and scatter their loved ones remains as they helplessly listened and watched. What a beautiful legacy these stalwart people left behind for all of us to remember. Mike was very proud of one of his ancestors who was highlighted several times in the stories told and in the museum. Also, one of my ancestors is highlighted there as well. He was a McBride who watched his father freeze to death in the snow under a wagon and then shortly thereafter watched his mother freeze to death as well. There is a touching picture that hangs in the museum of the young McBride finding his father the next morning frozen and stiff under a wagon. How touching, how powerful to see his emotion and anguish. It was very telling to see how many men died during the the trek westward. I think one of the main reasons why they died was because they were giving their portion of the food to their children and wives. They were carrying people across frozen rivers. They were pulling a heavy handcart through very rough terrain and deep snow. They were not replenishing their bodies from all the calories they were burning every day. The men simply died by sacrificing their lives for their loved ones and for what they believed in. At the end of the museum tour there hangs three lists of names of all the people that were recorded that went along with the Martin and Willie Companies. The ones who died have their names are written in gold. There were many names written in gold, most of them were men. My heartfelt thanks goes out to the people's whose names hang there in remembrance. Go to Martin's Cove, it is a must!

The Tooth Fairy, Again and Again

2011-09-22T17:02:00.000-07:00

Rachel Lost Her 2nd Tooth

Juliana Loosing Her 1st!

The Close Up

The Tooth Fairy has been very busy at our house. In the last two weeks or so, three teeth total have been lost, one from each kiddo. Joseph lost a molar, that I had to pull out, it was hanging and there was some pulling, yuck! Then Rachel lost her 2nd with Mike's help. Then at long last Juliana lost her 1st! It fell out during the night, so it was a bit of drama, but by the morning she was so excited. The girls wanted money to save for their American Girl Dolls. With Grandma Romney's help they want to save enough to get them for their birthday/Christmas. Juliana wants Josephina (yes that is the real name not one that Mike made up!) Rachel wants Kit. So, the goal is to save enough up for that. Congrats to all the kids!

Daddy and Daughter Olympics

2011-09-22T16:52:00.000-07:00

Getting Ready for the Race

Still Waiting

Balloon Between the Legs Race

Getting Ready!

Caterpillar Race

Getting a Demonstration

Every year our ward does a daddy/daughter Olympics event. Mike had to work that morning so Joseph was the fill in along with our dear home teacher Larry Chatterley. Between the two they helped the girls right along with all the events. My favorite was the Caterpillar Race which they took 2nd in their heat (miraculously I might add.)

Back to School

2011-09-22T16:42:00.000-07:00

Back to Daisey Scouts

Their Badges

Joseph's 1st Day of School

Girl's 1st Day of School

So, here are the back to school pictures and back to daisy scout pictures as well. The kids have been in school for about 5 weeks now and are loving it of course and are working really hard and keeping very busy. I am still adjusting to the routine of having them gone for about 6 hours a day. I am finding that the times goes quite fast.

Just Because I love You and Miss You

2011-09-22T16:34:00.000-07:00

Juliana Releasing the Dove

Preparing for the Balloon Release

Releasing the Balloons

Joseph Releasing the Dove


Rachel Releasing the Dove

About a month ago, we went to an event held at Fairmount Cemetery where our sweet Katherine is buried. They had a lot of really fun events there including a BBQ, jumping castle, and balloon artist. The highlight to the events though was the dove release. This man came with a cage full of beautiful white doves that each child was able to hold and then release in memory of who they loved and missed. We then did a balloon release where hundreds of balloons were released at once. We completed the day's events by doing our own private balloon release at Katherine's.

Happy 4th of July

2011-07-05T13:18:00.000-07:00

So, it has been a very busy last couple of days. We really enjoyed a fun 4th of July. Our ward had a pancake breakfast with a flag raising ceremony and then a bike parade. Joseph was chosen to be the caller for the flag raising and did a great job of course! Then we ate and the kids decorated their scooters and then went around a couple of times in the parking lot. It was so much fun, the kids loved it. We then met some of our good friends and went to see Cars 2 which we loved! Then got KFC and then drove out to Parker to watch the fireworks. The line to enter the park was over 2 miles long, so we went out into an open field near by and set up our chairs and enjoyed our KFC picnic and then watched the fireworks. Overall, a fun day. We sure missed being around family in Utah which has been our routine the last couple of years, but had a great time here.

The other bit of news as seen sort of in the picture, is that Rachel lost her first tooth! About 10 minuets later, Joseph lost his 10th tooth. It was a busy tooth losing day for sure. The tooth fairy left some Hello Kitty headbands for Rachel and then a set for Juliana as well, because the tooth fairy felt sorry that Juliana has not lost a tooth yet, she cannot help it, right? As for Joseph the tooth fairy left him a note saying she owed him a ticket to go and see the new Harry Potter here in about a week. Looking forward to still a lot of pool time as summer is now in full swing for sure.

Just Because, I love you and Miss you

2011-07-01T14:37:00.001-07:00

June 18th, 2011 marked the 2nd year anniversary of our sweet angel Katherine's death. This is a very somber time for our family. We try to keep the day simple and sweet. We had flowers delivered to her grave and then did a balloon release hoping that she will get them up in heaven. We always make a donation to the Children's Hospital in exchange for beautiful flowers being placed in the chapel of the hospital in honor of her. Katherine, we sure love you and miss you so much it hurts. I look forward to the joy that I will feel when I get to see you again. Farewell my sweet angel daughter until we meet again at Jesus' feet where I know you are right now. All is well, Carry On. Farewell.

Graduations and Father's Day

2011-07-01T14:19:00.000-07:00

So, June was an eventful month for us. My son Joseph graduated from 5th grade. My sweet girls Rachel and Juliana graduated from Kindergarten. Needless to say it was a busy week for sure! The graduations went really well. The girls were quite emotional during the slide show portion of the graduation. I know they loved this year, but have many more great years to come. Congrats to all three of my kids for their hard work and devotion to school. I am so proud of you. Just because I am feeling very sentimental, I am also putting the picture of when Joseph graduated from kindergarten in this post because it does not seem like it was that long ago.

We enjoyed a very nice father's day. The kids and I made Mike breakfast in bed in which we all ate in the bed. The kids loved it of course as did Mike. Overall a very quiet day, but I know Mike enjoyed it, so it was worth it.

Off we go into a busy July! I love this time of year!

Easter and the March of Dimes

2011-05-02T16:38:00.001-07:00

So here are some pictures over the last week or so. We had a great Easter as a family. We did a Easter Egg Hunt with our sweet Katherine of course! (and Bob)

We then went to see Katherine after church and gave her the Easter Lily. We then enjoyed a great dinner with some great friends, all in all a really fun and enjoyable weekend.

This past Saturday we all went on the March for Dimes downtown. Mike signed up for it through work and we walked 5 miles up 15th Street and then down the Platte River Front and then back up 14th Street back to Civic Center Park. It was a cold start to the morning for sure, but the sun came out and it was quite pleasant. The girls rode mostly in the back of a wagon, but everyone was such great troopers. It was great exercise, and seemed a bit longer than 5 miles if you know what I mean. Another fun day as a family. We enjoyed a BBQ put on by the bank afterward.

Just Because

2011-04-12T10:09:00.000-07:00

We are off track from school right now. We are in the last week of our three week break. Because of this, we have a bit of free time on our hands to say the least.

With some of our free time, we went to see our sweet Katherine yesterday. She is buried in a beautiful spot in a very historic cemetery in Denver. There are many large and majestic trees that line the roads and are in the middle of the burial plots. The trees are beginning to bloom. You know which ones I am talking about right? The ones with the white buds in small bunches. So sweet and tender, so delicate and soft, white and pure. It is the beginning of a new spring. A beginning of a new year for our family.

We had a tough last couple of months of the year. Mike's job of over 12 years was terminated and we were unemployed for about a month. It was stressful, a heavy burden to bear. He was able to secure a job as a finical service consultant at Bank of the West just after the first of the year. As you can imagine it was very different for him, a huge adjustment for him and for me as well. He is working really hard and adjusting well to the new roll. If there is nothing else in life that I have learned is that life changes all the time. You never know what will happen or what the day will bring.

Joseph went for a "buddy day" at Thunder Ridge Middle School this past Friday. He went to check things out and to get the lay of the land so to speak. It went really well. He had a great time. He actually said he loved it, which was a great comfort for me as a mother for sure. He has already turned 11 and is now entering into a new stage in his life. He is no longer a little boy, but now a young man. I have been doing a lot of praying and pondering about how to best teach him and guide him through these years of change and transition. I know it will be difficult, but also worth it to see him succeed and be happy which is all that I want for him and for my family.

Our other big news is that we bought a piano. I was able to find it off of Craig's List and felt we got a good deal. It now sits in our front room and is a great addition there. Joseph has now progressed into the higher levels of his piano books and needed a pedal and a piano for that matter, so we took the plunge and bought it.

Tonight I plan to attend the monthly group meeting that I help to facilitate at Children's Hospital. This group has been very successful and we have gotten really positive feedback about it. It is bittersweet to go there for me. It is bitter to go and have to relive what happened to Katherine. Yet it is sweet because I get to remember her and say her name and talk about her in a safe environment where no one will judge me or squirm or think, well its time to get over it now. Or you should not go see her grave once a week, that is not normal. This is a sweet, safe place to talk about and celebrate my angel in heaven. I have made some quite good friends there as well, it is always really nice to see them and visit with them, commune with them. There is a mother there who I have come to know over this past 19 months or so. She lost her son in the same manner as Katherine. She is very nice, but she and I are very different. She is lost in a sea of darkness and doubt. She has no beacon light beckoning her back to safety and happiness. I know she feels a lot of resentment and anger about what happened. This is very normal. I have felt those things as well. The main difference between us is that I look to the Savior as my beacon light. He is my rock and my salvation.

Last Easter was very difficult for me. I was angry and upset about having to face another holiday without my baby. But, this Easter already feels different and better. I am finding myself rejoicing in the knowledge that the Savior died and was resurrected. If for no other reason, He did this for me so that I may be able to see Katherine again.

As the weeks go by, the trees will continue to bloom and grow. By the time her 2nd year angel day arrives, it will be warm, green, soft, and welcoming. I will look forward to feeling the warmth and softness of that day.

Farewell my sweet angel until we meet again at Jesus' feet where I know you are right now.

The past month

2011-02-28T16:05:00.000-08:00

So here are some really cute pictures from the last month or so.

I was able to attend the kid's Valentine's parties. The girls had so much fun as you can see. It was a fun, although a bit loud party.

Mike and I went out to lunch for V-Day at Sam's #3. I met him during his lunch hour while the kids were in school. It was so much fun and worked out great. May I highly recommend the green chili sauce there, so good, I want to bathe in it. We got the Mac and Cheese dip topped off with the green chili sauce, wow! Mike then treated me to some new shirts. It was a fun date.

Then the kids and I went with our friends off to the Littleton Historic Museum where there is a farm complete with different buildings built to look like there were from the 1860's. They had a blacksmith shop there with a blacksmith making a hand made curtain rod. My friend's son asked him if he could make him a sword, his mom's answer was Um, No!

Finally, Joseph got his arrow of light from Cub Scouts. He will be turning 11 this week, and is moving up into 11 year old scouts. So, congrats to Joseph on all his hard work, we sure are proud of you.

Happy Birthday, Katherine

2011-01-16T07:00:00.001-08:00

So, I know that these are kind of a mix of pictures, but this has been kind of a mix of events happening lately. We had my brother and his family over from Saint George, Utah, so the last two pictures are of Dallin and Avery. We then went to the Stock Show downtown and saw a whole bunch of animals and had a great time as a family. Although it was very cold that day! Then we had a little birthday party for Katherine at a playdate at my friend's Melissa's house. I made a cake and then all the kids sang and blew out the candles for her, super fun! Then last night Joseph had the opportunity to sing in the Winter Song of Young Voices of Colorado with 199 other 5th graders from elementary schools in the area. They sang beautifully, Joseph did really well, he never gets nervous and the choir sounded great. We will be celebrating Katherine's birthday tomorrow with dinner and then the rodeo (Mike got free tickets through work). We will also do a balloon release at her grave. Happy Birthday my sweet angel, hope its a good day for you.

Just Because

2011-01-13T16:56:00.000-08:00

This is one I have to do. It is raw, shocking, gut wrenching, and real. Please proceed with caution, but it needs to be said, I need to say it in the hopes that it may help someone cross the stepping stones in their grief process.

I need to write about what happened the day that I found her. This is something that I have been putting off for awhile, but I know I need to write it. I have already discussed it in therapy, but writing about it makes it more real.

The day began just like any other day. It was the usual busy morning routine. Mike heads to work and then I run around trying to get four kids ready for the day. Katherine was so good that morning, she slept in a bit and then patiently waited for me to feed her. She ate her whole bottle as usual and then I bathed and dressed her. I kept her in the room with us as I finished up getting the girls bathed and then I laid her down for her morning nap. I had cleaned that morning as my parents were coming into town the next day, the house was clean and I was running on a great schedule. The girls had ballet that day and they were all dressed and ready to go. I then took a quick shower and then stuck my head out of my door after getting dressed to make sure that Katherine was not crying. I did not hear anything and then went about getting ready. I called down to the girls and told them to get their shoes on and then get in the van. I put a bottle on to warm to take to the class and feed Katherine there. I then got my shoes on and went upstairs to her room to get her.

I knew as soon as I walked into the room that there was something wrong. The room was cold and dark and it is never cold and never dark. I saw that she was lying face down in the crib. I ran over and picked her up.

Over these last four months, the two most difficult things for me to work through in my mind is finding her and laying her in the casket.

Finding her replays in my waking mind and haunts my dreams in the dead of night. She looked terrible. I have never seen death that up close that personal. She was lifeless, limp, cold to the touch. Her head hung limp to the side. It was her eyes that I will never forget. They were half mast and not moving. I knew in that moment that she was dead, there was no going back, truly she was gone.

My first thought was “No, No, please do not leave me when I have worked so hard to get you here. Please No, Please Come Back!” I then think that I must shake her to wake her up. But, then I think you should never shake a baby. Then there was a quiet voice in my ear that said I needed to call 911, I needed to get help here, help that I could not provide. I ran into my bedroom and laid Katherine on my bed. I picked up the phone, and dialed 911. At this point I just remember screaming her name over and over and over again. There were no tears, only screaming. Finally, the dispatcher calmed me down a little and said “Who is Katherine?” The reply was “Katherine is my baby.” “What is wrong with Katherine?” I then proceed to tell her she is not breathing and not moving, her chest is not rising and falling. The dispatcher then connects me to the fire department, I hear the change on the line, I know that there is someone else listening in. I remember saying “Please help me, Please help me.” The dispatcher then tells me how to give chest compressions, I did so gently. My mind is afraid that if I do it too hard that I will hurt her, maybe even break a rib.

The next thing I remember is hearing men’s voices calling out to me, Fire Department, Fire Department. My response is that I am up here, in the bedroom. All of a sudden there are five men in my bedroom. They are wearing a lot of equipment and seemed almost like giants to me. One of them got me out of the room and guided me into the office.

I then remember standing in the small corner between the book shelf and the window screaming, just screaming as loud as I could. I think had a stopped screaming I would have begun to think about what was real and what was not real. The screaming seemed to be taking reality away from me which is what I wanted at that time.

The fire marshal was in the room with me while I was screaming and trying to calm me down and get me to think strait. He asked where my husband was, my reply was that he was at work. He then asked for the phone number and I am sure I gave him our home phone number and he said he was getting a busy signal. I then really had to think and stop screaming for a moment and then gave him the number. He called Mike and told him what was happening and Mike could hear me screaming in the background. When he heard it was the fire department calling he thought that the house was on fire. My thought was I wish the house was on fire, then that meant my baby was alright. But, the marshal told him that his daughter was unresponsive and not breathing and to come home quickly. Mike then asked which daughter and he was told it was the baby.

The next things I remember were several erratic moments. After the phone call I attempted to go back and check on the baby in my room. I had to check on her, she was all alone and needed my help. I was her mom and needed to be with her. But, the marshal would not let me back into the room. He restrained me by wrapping his arms around me and pulling me back into the other room. He told me that I could not be with her right now that the other firemen were working on her and that I did not need to see that. At the time it was frustrating and annoying to me. But now I know why he would not let me in there. The other four men were placing a tube down her throat and attempting to give CPR, attempting in everyway possible to save her life. Had I seen that it would have been more traumatic for me. It would have been very difficult for me to witness my little baby being handled like that. I know that they were doing everything in their power to save her, but I am a mom and I never stop being a mom and I would have wanted to protect her from them. I would have gotten in their way and hindered their work. That is why I was unable to go back in the room.

The next clear moment I recall is looking out the bedroom window that faces the street and watching them place her into the ambulance and then again attempting to move and wanting to go with her. Again, I was restrained by the strong arms of the wise and I would say inspired marshal. He had me wrapped around in his arms yet one more time. This time he said to me as he spoke quietly in my ear: “You have two little girls in the van who are very scared, who do not know what is going one, you must think of them. You cannot go with your baby; you must stay here with the other girls. That is who you can help the most, your baby is in the best hands possible, and they are providing the best care they can to her.”

This was a wake up call for me, oh, that’s right I have two no wait three other children that I had not thought about since the moment that I had found Katherine. At that moment, there was yet again a quiet voice inside my head that said, “Don’t worry; the girls are being taken care of.”

At that point, the fire department was getting ready to leave and then I was passed over into the hands of the police department. I was given into the care of one of the deputy sheriffs. He at first tried to get me to sit in the living room and begin to talk to me about what happened. The problem was that I could not stop screaming and they wanted to bring the girls in from out of the van. In order to make them feel that they could do that, he took me outside into the back yard. The other deputy took the girls out of the van and began playing Barbie dolls with them as I continued to scream in the backyard.

He began to talk to me and try to get my mind off of what was going on. He asked if there was anyone that I wanted to call. I just could not think of anyone at that moment. He asked where my mother was and I said she lived in Vegas. He wanted to call her and somehow my cell phone turned up. I am pretty sure that one of the other officers must have looked for it in my purse and gave it to him. He told me that he would call my mother and tell her what was happening. He at first asked for my mother’s supervisor and told her what was going on and then asked to speak to my mom. I could hear him tell her about what happened and I heard him say that it was not yet a confirmed DOA.

Upon hearing this, I began to scream again. I believe he quickly hung up with the call and came over to me. At this point I began to feel that I could not take a deep breath. I just could not get enough air into my lungs. My head began to spin and my vision blurred. He attempted to hold and steady me and then I leaned over and threw up into the grass. He just stood there with his arms around me until it passed. I am quite sure that this was one of the most understanding, calm, and compassionate man I ever had the privilege of meeting. Never once did he complain, never once did he seem annoyed, never once did he seem grossed out by the events unfolding. After I threw up, he handed me a tissue (I am not sure where that came from) and then said something very profound to me. His words will stay with me forever. He proceeded to tell me that he had done two tours in Iraq as a Special Forces officer in the army. He had fought in mortal combat twice, he had seen and inflicted death on our country’s enemies. But, what I was experiencing now was as bad as it gets. He had never seen such sorrow, such shock, on the face of a grieving mother until that day when he saw me at my worse.

At this point, a social worker had arrived, and then I was handed off to her. She sat in the backyard with me and I had to recount what had happened. At some point during the conversation, Mike arrived home. She respected our privacy and we were left alone in the backyard. Mike then called our home teacher to let him know what had happened. He just so happed to be at home right then and came right over. Mike and he gave me a blessing while I continued to scream because I had asked the deputy sheriff if there was an update from the hospital and he said that no one had called.

I had known from the moment I saw her that she was gone, but in that moment, he confirmed it for me. I think that is why I reacted the way I did. All the memory brings back for me is seeing myself sitting in a chair in the backyard screaming and Mike and the home teacher holding my shoulders firmly down keeping me stationed and in one place.

After the blessing, I went inside the house, at this point the CSI team had arrived. I had to sign paper work to release the home and all the evidence they had to take with them as part on the investigation. I then sat down and began speaking to someone else that I did not know who it was. She began to question me and asked me to recount the events of the day. About half way through what was about a 45 minute interview, I stopped and said: “Who are you?” She responded that she was the CSI investigator and it was her job to find out what happened and then submit the report. At this point there were about 10 police authorities in my home. They seemed to be milling about and taking random things and asking me random questions. However, I was patient and answered the questions to the best of my ability.

Following the interview, the social worker invited me to come and sit with her on the couch so we could talk again. Several times during the conversation, she referred to someone who was my life couch. I finally stopped her and asked who she was talking about. She pointed to our home teacher and indicated that he must be my life couch. I said no, he is not my life couch, but simply and thankfully my faithful, dear home teacher. She asked if he was my pastor then, I said no, my bishop was like my pastor and he was just my home teacher. I then had to explain to her what that meant, and then found myself explaining what home teaching and visiting teaching meant and how there was a monthly message put out. It was a very strange time to share the gospel, but so it was.

Finally after about two hours, all the investigators left and then we were forced to face the long drive to the hospital. The fire department had taken her to Parker Adventist to the Children’s Emergency Room. Upon our arrival there, our home teacher and Bishop were waiting for us. They took us back and told us what had happened when Katherine arrived there.

We were told that she had never regained any type of heart beat or pulse. She had breathed but that is because she had been in abated and the tubes were breathing for her. They had given her five rounds of dopamine which is a drug designed to jump start the heart. After they had given the maximum amount of the drug, there was still no response; they were forced to declare her deceased. The coroner’s office was waiting there already to take her body back to their facility to perform an autopsy. We were told that we could see her for a moment and then they would have to take her away.

The room in which she lay was dark and quiet. She was lying alone on the bed without any clothes or a blanket. My gut response was to go and get her a blanket because she was cold and needed one. I asked for one and the nurse accommodated quickly. The bishop and home teacher were in the room with us. Mike held her first and began to sob and sob. It was a horrible scene. Even the devil himself who has a heart of stone would have been moved to tears. It was quiet for a while and then the rest of the staff from the hospital came in to answer any questions or offer any support that we needed. At this point, I believe that we were both numb and in utter disbelief as to the events that had unfolded. No one expects this to happen. No one wakes up in the morning and says, today I will loose a loved one, and no one does that.

We all left the hospital feeling sick to our stomachs. The bishop said that he would contact Alice Wheeler and get the ball rolling for funeral arrangements. We then slowly walked to our car. My first thought was well maybe Grandmas and Grandpas will come; it will be a small, quiet affair.

Stepping Stones

2011-01-12T15:48:00.000-08:00

So, last night was the first night of the on going grief group that I helped to facilitate at Children's Hospital. The night went really well and the kids always have so much fun playing in the play area with other kids that they know from other events.

To end the meeting, the facilitator read the following poem that I wanted to share. It seems very timely with the birthday coming up so soon. It reads:

The Stepping Stones

Come, take my hand. The road is long, and we must travel by stepping stones. No, you are not alone, I will go with you. I know the road well. I have been there. Do not fear the darkness, I will be with you. We must take one step at a time. But, remember, we have to stop awhile. It is a long way to the other side and there are many obstacles. We have many stones to cross, and some are bigger than others. Shock, denial and anger to start, then comes guilt, despair and loneliness. It is a hard road to travel, but it must be done. It is the only way to reach the other side. Come, slip your hand in mine. What? Oh yes. It is strong. I have held many hands like yours. Mine was once small and weak, like yours; because you see, once I had to hold someone else's hand in order to take the first step. Oops, you stumbled! Go ahead and cry, do not be ashamed, I understand. Let us wait here awhile and get your breath. When you are stronger, we will go on . . . .

One step at a time . . . .

There is no need to hurry. Say, it is nice to hear you laugh. Yes, I agree you shared good memories. Look, we are halfway there now; I can see the other side. It looks so warm and sunny. Have you noticed? We are nearing the last stone, and you are standing alone. And look at your hand . . . .

You have let go of mine. We have reached the other side. But wait, look back. Someone is standing there. He is alone and wants to cross the stepping stones. I have to go. He needs my help. What? Are you sure? Why yes, go ahead, I will wait. You know the way, you have been there. Yes, I agree, it is your turn, my friend. To help someone else cross the stepping stones.

I love you sweet Katherine, may I safely cross the stepping stones to see you again, I am looking forward to that joy my angel.

Just Because

2011-01-11T12:56:00.000-08:00

So, here is an entry I wrote about three months after Katherine's passing, it is a true and somewhat raw/emotional account of the events that unfolded following her passing, proceed with caution:

We parted ways with our home teacher and bishop at the hospital with the assurance that the bishop would call Alice Wheeler and let her know that we would need her services.

As we were leaving the building my first and only thought was that we were going to have a small service, maybe the grandparents would be able to make it. Both of our families live far away from Denver and although supportive and caring, do not make it here very often. I had absolutely no expectations of anyone except the grandparents to come. I pictured in my mind that the services would be a simple grave side with a small group of people in attendance. I guess I thought that people would not think it was a big deal and that their lives would be too busy to come support and help. I thought this because that was what has been proven to me in the past. But, a sudden and unexpected death changes people’s lives and perspective. I have come to realize that now.

I do not really remember what we had talked about on the way home. I remember Mike saying he wanted to write some things about Katherine, I said that was fine. Coming home was weird, quiet, empty. I felt sick to my stomach. I felt out of sorts and numb. I could not believe what had just happened. Could Heavenly Father really just taken away my baby? Did it happen? The laundry needed to be put in the dryer, I placed it in there. Then the door bell rang thus beginning what I refer to as the “Open House.” All of a sudden my home went from being a residence for six to a residence of dozens. It was a flurry of people who came by from the ward. There were people in and out in and out. People stayed for hours at a time. Some people came and stayed then went home to feed their families and then returned for the evening. I remember the bishop sitting in my front room for a couple of hours that night. People were milling around the house, in and out of every room. Somehow my clothes were folded and then a lot of Katherine’s things were taken out of the house. Her pack and plays were folded down and many of her clothes were actually removed and I do not know where they went. Her drawers were placed in the closet and all her blankets were folded and placed there as well. I do not really remember people asking me if that was alright, but there were many things that I do not really remember about this part of the grieving process.

By the time my parents arrived around 10:00 p.m. that night, my house was filled to the brim with people from the ward. It seemed that the men were sitting in the living room and the women were sitting in the front room. Neighbors, friends, ward members were sitting in all available space on the floor and on the stairs. My parents arrived and then people cleared out for the night. That night I remember my mom saying to me that my younger brother Reed was very upset about what had happened. He was willing to do anything for me, anything I wanted. That was the first time since the time I found Katherine that it began to occur to me that this event was going to be much bigger that I had originally anticipated.

My brother Reed lives quite far in St. George, Utah. He teaches seminary for the church and I know that he has two other jobs to make ends meet. It would be a huge sacrifice for him to come. It is a long drive up to Denver. I know because I have made that drive more than once. If he was coming, well, who else was coming was my thought. Then that is when my mom who became my advocate, spokesperson, confidant, began to give the list of the people who were planning to come. My head began to reel and I began to start freaking out. How could I possibly accommodate all these people? What would we eat? Who would pay for it? How can I be a good hostess to many family members who have never even seen any of my homes in Denver? Why are they coming when they have never come before? Do they care that much? Is this what death brings about? My utter fear of losing control came to the forefront. These are just some of the thoughts and questions that went through my mind that night. You must realize that I am only referring to my side of the family who was planning to come. These numbers do not count Mike’s family who is larger than mine.

My parents said goodnight and then went to the hotel with the promise of returning the next morning. That first night was like all the nights between finding Katherine and then laying her to rest. When you are grieving the nights are brutal, agonizing, consuming, utterly and completely sleepless. I also had decided to not eat anything as well. I began a week long fast. I ate nothing. I drank only sips of water to keep from being de-hydrated. In my grieving mind I thought that I could not eat because my baby was not eating. As a mother you are accustomed to eating only after the kids eat. I felt like I could not eat until after Katherine ate. But the problem was Katherine was no longer here, she did not have to eat. But I did have to eat, I just could not. The thought of putting food in my mouth made me gag. I simply could not do it. I did not do it until after she was buried. My first real meal was at the lunch following the burial. Then and only then did I feel like I could eat. It took quite sometime for my appetite to return to normal.

The next day dawned and then Alice Wheeler came by to go over some of the beginning of the plans for the funeral arrangements. This is about the time when I began to give up any hope that it would be a small, quiet service. It seemed to me that Mike just took the whole thing over. He made a lot of the decisions and told me what they were. He told me that we were having a viewing and a funeral. He told me what the program was going to be. He told me who was speaking and what songs were being chosen. I felt smothered, buried in shock, disbelief, and grief. I all but gave up. I gave into the demands because I felt like there was no choice in the matter.

We were told that the place of burial needed to be chosen and Mike decided on Fairmount because he drove past it everyday. I consented because there was no choice but to consent. It felt like we could not have a disagreement or a discussion over it because there were too many people around. We just did not have a quiet moment to have any time to ourselves. That made things very difficult.

We then drove out to Fairmount to pick out the plot and pay for their services. During the drive there, we received a phone call from the Coroner’s Office saying that the autopsy was complete and they were releasing Katherine to Alice. We were told that there were no visual signs of the cause of death and no signs of abuse.

I feel like a side story needs to be told here about talking to Alice later that day. After we had gotten back from Fairmount, Alice called and told me that she was holding Katherine. This was very hard for me to hear. This was the first time since the hospital that someone I knew was caring for her. This was a difficult time for me, very transitional. My baby was no longer here, but yet she was here. It was heart breaking, devastating to me as a mother to think about my dead baby being held by a funeral director being driven to the funeral home. Alice tenderly told me that Katherine was being so good, and that she looked really well. Unknown to me prior to this experience, is that after someone dies and the immediate effects of death have passed, they pink up and the coloring becomes better. This is what happened with my beautiful baby. She had pinked up and looked really well, at peace. I sobbed on the phone right along with Alice with this news. It was such a relief to know that she looked better, that she was “feeling” better. I know that her body was at peace, her body was at rest. If my memory serves me correctly, this was the first time I remember crying about what happened to my sweet Katherine.

A Father's Tribute

2011-01-11T08:27:00.000-08:00

This poem was written in honor of our angel (Katherine Diane Nelson) by her father Michael J. Nelson. This precious daughter of God was born on January 16, 2009 and was sent home to His presence unexpectedly on June 18, 2009.

Oh Little One!

Oh Little One, so precious and dear

My heart draws out to you and wants you near

You are perfect like the Son

His love surrounds you, until we are One.

Eternal families may we be

Since the Savior died for me

Perfect as you Little One

Is the Great and Holy One!

The Katherine Tree

2011-01-09T16:46:00.000-08:00

About a month or so after Katherine's funeral, my uncle came over and planted a very fat and very cute "Fat Albert" blue spruce evergreen soon to be dubbed as the Katherine tree. Cute, petite, blooms year round just like our sweet daughter. (oh, by the way, the really cute little dog is my uncle's dog named Louis, who my kids adore as you can imagine.)

Ugly Sweater Party

2011-01-07T11:21:00.000-08:00

I know that I have been doing posts about Katherine which I will continue to do, I promise, but just as a fun side note, here are two pictures from an ugly sweater party that we attended. I am not sure what the glasses were all about, but it sure was a lot of fun.

My Sweet Katherine

2011-01-06T06:09:00.000-08:00

So, this post will be short and very sweet, here is the poem that my brother-in-law wrote for Katherine and it was placed in Katherine's program for the funeral. Thanks Sam for your thoughtful, heartfelt words to remember our daughter.

To Katherine,

Little one, so precious and small,
Yet an amazing soul, we barely got to know.
As a daughter, a sister, and a niece you brought us love.
We are family bound together, forever to come.
Now to be encircled with care by those who are past,
We look forward to being with you little one,
Our joy will then be full.

Love, Uncle Sam

Just Because

2011-01-02T15:58:00.000-08:00

Here is some more about what I wrote about Katherine's pregancy and delivery:

The idea of Katherine really began before I said it did in my testimony. There were several times I had gone to the temple before and the thoughts that came into my mind were: “Oh, would not a baby be so cute, babies are so sweet and special.” My internal response to those thoughts was always, well they are cute and special, but I am not having another one, I cannot have another one.

Then the fateful day arrived. I again found myself at the temple just sitting in a session minding my own business. Then there is a certain part of the session in which there are mothers mentioned (I know you know which part I am referring to). During that part, there was a quiet voice that came into my mind that said very clearly that there was another baby waiting for me and that I needed to have this child.

Well, in retrospect, as a guest in the Lord’s house one should never be rude to the gracious host, but I could not help myself. In my mind I responded, “I will not, I cannot.” I was told: “You can and you will.” I do not think it wise to ever “argue” with Heavenly Father but that was my gut response.

Mike and I left the temple that night and for several days, I did not say anything about it. Then I could not take it anymore and I began to tell Mike about the voice and what it said. He was not the least bit surprised and began to tell me what the voice had told me and said that he had the same experience and was just waiting for me to say something.

Well, this left me baffled and overwhelmed. After careful thought and prayer, I choose to go forward with the decision to get pregnant. Things happened quickly, and I was pregnant. About 8 weeks into that, the bleeding began and the miscarriage was in full swing. I had to go to the OB and get another D&C. The lab results came back and said that the pregnancy was most likely a tubal one because there was no pregnancy matter in the tissue that was sent in.

I was disappointed, but not devastated. I trudged forward. Then about six months later I was pregnant with Katherine. Truly everything went smoothly, I was not really sick or tired, and I did really well.

The doctors were watching me really close for awhile. Then at about 29 weeks, my blood pressure began to be an issue. It was on a Sunday as things always are when you need to go to the hospital. So, Mike and I went in and I was admitted. They took some blood tests to determine if the complication was serious enough to deliver me. We were told that we needed to prepare ourselves for a pre-mature baby. Into the silence of waiting Mike said that we should name the baby Katherine Diane like we had discussed. We agreed and the name was not brought up again until delivery.

The tests came back alright, my kidney and liver was functioning properly for the time being. I was then placed in a pari-natel room to receive the steroid shots over the next 24 hours to mature the lungs. I had been diagnosed with gestational diabetes and had to receive an insulin shot every four hours in the process of receiving the two rounds of the steroids. The steroids have a tendency to make the sugar levels go through the roof and the insulin was given to counter act that. By the end of the two days the back of my arms were sore from all the shots.

I think that I would like to take a moment to talk about what it is like to be confined to a hospital bed for an extended period of time. It is agonizing. It is devastating. I hate it. My body has a habit of being an early riser by nature which does not bode well while in the hospital. The OB resident wakes you up to do an exam at about 5:00 a.m. and then I am able to drift in and out of sleep for the next hour or so. Then the day begins and one is forced to face many hours of doing nothing but sitting in an awful bed. I would say the very worst part of the many times I have spent in the hospital is the bed. It is just terrible.

I get settled in for the night and then the shift changes and the night nurse comes in to do a stress test. When you are hospitalized for complications with pregnancy they must hook you up to the monitor every 4 hours during the day and then every 8 hours at night. You are on the monitor for about 45 minuets at a time. It is very time consuming and tedious. The night nurse hooked me up to the monitor and then noticed that I was beginning to have contractions. Then the contractions showed that I was beginning to go in labor. Well needless to say that set off several alarms and got several doctors jumping at 12:30 at night. I was wheeled down to the procedure room saying “Do you think I should call my husband?” The nurse quietly said to me, “Well let’s wait and see what’s happening.” This was December and there was about 6 inches of snow on the ground. As I was getting up on the exam table, I said a quick prayer that myself and the baby would be alright. The answer came very quickly and said that “Don’t worry, she is only meant to be a baby.” This was a very strange thought, in my mind I said well of course she is meant to be a baby, she is a baby. But, now I know that was a tender mercy of the Lord again preparing me for her loss.

The procedure goes well and they are able to stop the contractions, things calm down for the night. The next three days I remain there as they adjust the medication for the blood pressure to begin to regulate better.

I return home and about 5 days later I am forced to return due to the blood pressure. This time, it is the week of my birthday and as fate would have it another birthday is spent in a cold and lonely hospital room. The time spent then was about 3 days and I am told that only strict bed rest at home is allowed. We make arrangements for my mom to come the last two weeks of December. Then my mother-in-law comes the first week of January. Mike is then able to take the rest of the time until Katherine is scheduled to be delivered at 36 weeks.

The time spent here at home is long and boring. The days are devastating to me. I am a doer, a worker. I yet again face my greatest fear which is loosing control. The fear of total loss of control looms above me on a daily basis. The amount of medication that is taken is also very fearful to me. I worry about how it is affecting the baby. But, I also feel that there is no choice. I must take the medication in order to remain pregnant. During this time, the doctors are always taking blood work to closely observe how my liver and kidneys are holding up. My veins in my arms become so bruised that they are unusable to draw from them anymore. One vein bursts and bleeds everywhere. The techs are forced to draw from the veins on the tops of my hands but those become bruised as well. Daily insulin shots are required as well. I am forced to set my alarm and wake up at 1:30 every morning to take medication.

Mercifully, the weeks pass by and the day before the cesarean arrived. As already discussed, a blessing is given. Then we farm the kids out for the night and prepare for the next day.

We arrive early that morning, they were waiting for us. I have been assigned by previous planning the most seasoned nurse on staff. She stays with me the whole weekend for all three day shifts. Thanks to nurse Jan for taking such good care of me. Upon arrival and exam, all three doctors who were taking care of me concur that I must go back on the Mag Sulfate after delivery in an effort to save my life. I am told that the blood pressure is so serious and my body so swollen that the chances of my death and the death of my baby are very high and the Mag Sulfate is the only option between this life and the next.

Just Because

2011-01-02T15:33:00.000-08:00

So, as I already mentioned I will be sharing some thoughts about Katherine leading up to her birthday. So, I will now share what I wrote to be read during her funeral. I am aware that there were many people there who heard it in person, but perhaps were not able to remember it or fully appriciate the words and thoughts expressed due to the nature of the situation. So here it is:

"For my sweet sister Tiffany to read at the funeral the words that I want said:

It all began I suppose at the temple.

About a year and a half ago, I was at the temple and I was told by the still small voice that there was another child waiting for me and for the family. My gut response was that I could not do it again as I have such health problems with the pregnancies. But the still small voice spoke to me again and I was told that I can and I will.

So, I proceeded forward with the decision to have a baby. I got pregnant quickly and lost the pregnancy about 8 weeks later. Then about six months after that, I was pregnant again with Katherine. The pregnancy went smoothly up until about 29 weeks when I was hospitalized for the first time because of my blood pressure. I then began the revolving door of being hospitalized several more times prior to delivery. Then the time came to deliver her and my husband and eternal sweetheart gave me a priesthood blessing the night before we went in. I was blessed that there would be seen and unseen angels watching over me.

I was then told by the doctors while they were prepping me for the surgery that I would yet again have to be on the same medication that I had been on with my other two deliveries. Prior to going in, I had prayed to my sweet, tender, and kind Heavenly Father that if it was His will to allow the trial of the medication to pass from me.

But, it was not his will; I had to be on the medication. Let me take a moment to describe the medication to you that the Lord has seen fit to inflict upon me three times. The medication is given through an IV. It is designed to shut your body down and leave only the absolute essential organs functioning. So that means for over 24 hours three different times in my life, I cannot take deep breaths as my lungs are not at full capacity. I must be on constant oxygen. I cannot eat or drink anything because if I did my lungs would fill with fluid. I cannot see as it affects the vision to the point that I am almost blind.

During the time that I was on the medication after Katherine’s birth the seen angels were the medical professionals watching over me. It was the kind nurse that came in every 30 minuets all through the night and into the next morning. While I was alone, that is when the unseen angels were with me bearing me up and keeping a close watch over me through that long night that I was confined to my bed. They were close, I testify to that. Perhaps in small moments they were seen and they were familiar faces of the women who love me that have passed on before. I saw the loving faces of my dear and much beloved Grandmothers Brown, Cora, and Romney. They were there as they were there before when I was on the medication with my other children.

Upon leaving the hospital, I was told that I would have to come back if my blood pressure got worse. I went home and it was stressful and crazy. I waited until that night to take the pressure. It was bad and I began to despair. I began to cry and cough which is never a good idea when recovering from a surgery. In that moment of great and utter despair I was granted a beloved tender mercy of the Lord.

The phone rang right at that moment and it was our much beloved home teacher. He was calling and it was late about 9:00. He said that he was leaving work and knew that I was coming home from the hospital and wanted to check up on me. I told him that I needed a blessing. He came right over and worthy priesthood hands were placed on my head. I testify to you that Heavenly Father’s promises are sure. I was promised that my health would improve and it did. I was given exactly what I needed at that moment in time.

Now, I will flash-forward several months and say that since Katherine passed away I have again been granted tender mercy after tender mercy to help me through this. I have been bourn up on eagles wings as Isaiah has promised. I have had angels surrounding me and bearing me up as the Savior promised to our much beloved Prophet Joseph Smith. I have been told that I am not yet as Job, for my friends and family are here to welcome me with open arms and tender hearts.

I can now testify without a doubt that I know the Savior lives and loves us very much more than we know. I know that because I have had the privilege and honor of experiencing that knowledge first hand. I know that he has already felt and bourn my grief long ago in a garden far away. I know that he is the only one that can help me feel better. He is the only one that I can yoke myself to and pull this burden together. I know that the yoke is designed for two strong animals to pull together equally, but that is not the case right now. He is pulling pretty much all of it. But over time, I will be able to pull equal with him. Then and only then I may be able to begin to understand what the Atonement really means.

But in the meantime, I will still go on day by day and when I look up into the sky I will know that my Katherine will be there waiting for me. I look forward to the joy upon seeing her again. I hope that I can be granted yet one more tender mercy when the Savior will say to me: “Well Done, Thou Good and Faithful Servant”."

Just Because

2010-12-31T11:57:00.000-08:00

With the new year arriving soon that means Katherine's birthday will be arriving soon as well. I have decided that leading up to her birthday I am going to share some of the things that I have written about her and some things that other people have also written about her as well.

So, the first thing I want to share is a letter written to me about a week after Katherine's funeral. The person identifies herself, but I feel that it is personal so I choose to keep her identity anonymous.

Her letter in part reads as:

"My heart has been breaking for you all week long. I have cried and hugged and kissed my baby a lot the last few days.

It may seem weird that I am typing you a letter when I hardly know you. But I need to tell you something that happened last week. I saw you at the B track picnic in the park. This was not unusual. I have actually seen you quite a bit this school year. While I have waited in the car for my boys, I have watched you several times coming and going with your children to school. I watched you when you were very pregnant with your baby, and then watched you pushing her in the stroller every time with your little ones in tow. You are very conscientious. You always know where your children are and make sure they are close to you. They seem very well behaved and know not to wander too far.

As I have watched you I can tell you are a good mom. On the day of the picnic, I saw you sitting under a tree in the shade. You had your baby in your arms and would occasionally put her down on the blanket next to you and stroke her head. It was very serene. It was a beautiful picture. I even pointed you out to my husband and said I thought I would go and say hello to you. But then something stopped me. I am not sure what it was. But now as I look back, maybe I was not supposed to interrupt what was happening under the shade of that tree. A sweet mother who was raising her family just as Heavenly Father wanted her to. She was at that moment in the right place. She was where she needed, spending a few last quiet moments with her little girl. Not knowing that the next day that she would be gone. I am glad now that I did not interfere. I got to sit by and watch what motherhood is all about.

These little ones come and go so soon they will be leaving us. We get to he here and take care of them and hope that we are doing a good job and send them on their way. You are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing. And just like me, there were angels watching you and agreeing that you are a wonderful mother. One of those is your daughter. Someday she is going to thank you. While she was here, you loved her and held her and kissed her and took care of her. You did exactly what you were supposed to do to make her life sweet. Do not ever doubt that! You could not have done anything differently to change what happened. If Heavenly Father wanted her back, he was going to take her. She is so lucky to have spent her life in your family, and He will bless you for that!

I cannot even imagine what you must be going through right now, but I am sure one of your fears is forgetting her. So my gift to you is a memory. Try to remember that day before. Remember sitting under that tree with her. It was a beautiful day. You seemed so peaceful as you watched her lay there. You would pick her up occasionally, I am sure most moms do, because our babies are so beautiful that we cannot stand to not be holding them! Think of that day. And think yes, you did your job. You fulfilled your mission with her, and she loves you for it.

I also want to thank you for giving me some perspective. I am sure that you never knew that I was watching you. But every time that I have seen you, you are an example of the kind and patient mother I need to be. This whole week I have really been able to stop and think about what is most important in my life, and that is my family. This life can be so short. But being able to mourn with you has made me a better mom, so for that I truly thank you."

That is part of the letter that was written and sent to me about a week after the funeral.

Ah, my dear and sweet Katherine how I love and miss you. I know that you are doing really well, you are happy and at peace and that brings me great comfort. Farewell until we meet again at Jesus' feet where I know you are right now. I look forward to the day when I am able to join you there again.

Ode to Bob the Bullfrog

2010-12-27T13:00:00.000-08:00

So for the past nearly one year, Bob the spotted and rather fat and very cute bullfrog has lived at our house. He is one of Joseph's webkinz and a much beloved member of our family. When Joseph is offtrack he is even more a part of our family.

So, it should come as no surprise to anyone who may be reading this to hear the story that happened this morning.

I was downstairs cleaning, minding my own business and Juliana came down to ask me a question. The question went something like this: "Mom, Bob wants to know if he can play webkinz and then watch Toy Story 3?" Oh really? Bob? Oh yes Bob (aka Joseph) wanted to know if they could get on the computer and watch a show. How could I say no? Oh, dear Bob how I love you, you are just one of my kids although a bit less expensive to maintain and really very little trouble.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-26T17:47:00.000-08:00

So, we had a really fun last couple of days with all the Christmas fun. The kids decorated Katherine's tree the other day in preparation for the holiday. I thought that candy canes would would weather well outside, I had to get creative you know?

We had really fun going to a Christmas Eve dinner and then a Christmas Day dinner. Needless to say we ate well and I made several desserts!

The kids had a great Christmas morning. They got up early and opened all the presents which they loved of course. Later that afternoon we went to visit our angel Katherine and sang some carols and gave Katherine her favorite, pink roses for her gift. Now that we are done with the crazy of December, we will look forward to the next hurdle of Katherine's birthday which is looming. But, we plan to make it a celebration as it should be.

Hope everyone had a great holiday. Merry Christmas!

About the Pictures

2010-12-22T05:59:00.000-08:00

So, a few words about the pictures.

We had the ward Christmas party on my birthday which was a fun evening. The kids saw and talked to Santa and gave him their lists. They made gingerbread cookies and had dinner, a really fun night. I had the idea in my mind to "display" my new found talent of piano playing. So, I decided to sign up for our family to sing while I played for them. I chose to play several of the primary pieces I have learned over the past year I have been taking piano. I practiced quite a bit before the performance. But, I got in there in front of everyone and froze! I got so nervous, it was a complete disaster! So embarrassing! I played the first two lines of I lived in Heaven and my family was not singing and then I had to stop and start again, and then it went down hill from there. After sitting down following the horrible piano playing Rachel informed me that their singing was much better than my piano playing. Juliana then told me that I messed up a whole bunch and needed to practice some more. Maybe I am glad that on the day of mine and Joseph's recital that Joseph threw up all over my friend's tile floor at her house and then we were not able to go. I am afraid I would have done the same thing. It was for the best for sure.

Then Mike and I had our birthdays which is always fun and busy. I had the chance to go out to a couple of different dinners with some friends of mine which is always fun. Mike and I went on our date night to the temple and then got take out at Olive Garden, it was a fun night. Happy Birthday to us!

A couple of days later, we had been invited to go to a Christmas party at the barn. I told the kids we were going to the barn for a party and Rachel said it would be cold and dark, she did not want to go. I said it was not in the barn but in Laurie's house at the barn, she seemed okay with it. We got there and I noticed that Laurie had a brand new shiny black baby grand piano in her front room. I asked her how long she had had it. She said she had just bought it since she had decided to take lessons. So, about an hour later, I suddenly hear a very familiar song being played. Come to find out it is Joseph playing "Duke of York" which is the piece he played to get into the school talent show. I walked into the room and Laurie is standing next to him with her mouth wide open in shock. All the other kids were just pounding on it, not playing just making noise on her beautiful new instrument. But, my fearless Joseph played the song from memory and you can imagine it sounded great on the baby grand. Laurie was blown away. She told Joseph that was the most beautifully played song on the piano yet. Leave it to Joseph to break in a new piano. It was a fun night visiting with fellow horse lovers and eating great food.

Then a short week later we celebrated the girls' birthday. We had a very busy and full day that day. We had a practice for the choir program that morning. I was able to help a friend of mine who is going through a very difficult time right now by watching her son for awhile. Then we had a birthday party, I told you it was busy! But, the girls choose Skate City and that is where we went. We returned home and ate pizza, opened presents, and then ate cake. Rachel informed me that it was the best birthday ever. What more could I ask for?

Then that night Mike and I had a date night to the temple where we did a session and then spent about 2 1/2 hours cleaning after the session. This was a unique and fun way to serve the Lord. It was very different way to see the temple. All I will say is Mike had a leaf blower and I had a spray bottle and we went to town. What a way to clean. That is my kind of cleaning. We were also able to do some vacuuming, you know how I feel about that.

Our home teacher then gave us a gift card to the Elephant Restaurant and that is where we ate on the girl's birthday. We had never eaten there, but it was really yummy. Mike and I shared an entree of fire roasted chicken in a wok with brown rice, yummy! The kids all ordered chicken fingers. But, their meals came with ice cream sundaes. Rachel took her cherry on the top and ate it. I have never seen her eat a cherry before. I asked if she liked it. She thought for a moment and said: "It was sketchy." I wonder where she heard that one. It made me laugh out loud, so funny.

So, now with the birthdays over we will be looking forward to Christmas which is looming. We will be planning on going over to some friends for Christmas Eve dinner and then having a quiet Christmas here. It should be a fun and busy next couple of days.

Lots and Lots of Cute Pictures of Party and Birthdays

2010-12-21T06:23:00.000-08:00

Our Busy Month

2010-11-27T17:43:00.000-08:00

So, here are some pictures over the last month or so at our house. We had a really fun Halloween and then a great Thanksgiving. My parents were able to come this week and have been here the last couple of days. They have just left and we miss them already! But, we had a great time while they were here. The girls were able to do their Thanksgiving play on Tuesday in kindie, they were "Pilgrim Women", just in case you were unable to tell by looking. We had a great Turkey day with mom and dad, mom and I cooked and cooked and then ate and ate, it was great! Then Grandma treated the girls to pedicures at their favorite place, Sweet and Sassy, they loved it of course. Grandpa and Joseph went bowling while the girls shopped and then we met up for lunch at Quoba. This morning we all enjoyed a beautiful morning at the barn where I rode and jumped Gemini, Gemmy for short. He is a really cute and sweet white pony. It was a great lesson. I know that my head is cut out of some of the pictures, sorry, I am not sure who takes worse pictures, me or my mom, I believe it is a toss up! Oh well, you can get a feel for it. So beautiful down there as you can see with all the trees. What a great weekend. Oh, by the way we did go down and see Katherine on Thursday, we miss her and love her lots and lots.

Just Because

2010-10-24T14:44:00.000-07:00

So, I have been meaning to write more about my Katherine. I think that I am at a point now in my grieving process that I am ready to open up more about it and put things out there that may not have been said or discussed. So, I will be doing some of these entries now and then.

So, my first entry involves a story that happened a couple of days after Katherine's passing. During my therapy, I did a lot of writing, so I wrote the story, so now I will write it down for the blog.

"The Service of the Shutters"

In order to begin this story I must go back to the first time that we came to see the house that we now live in. On walking into the home for the first time, I noticed that the front shutters were peeling. The paint had become sun baked and was crumbling off. The appearance some what bothered me upon entrance. However, the rest of the house and the price we paid for it made the shutters seem but a small problem that I could overlook and later fix. As it is when you move into a home, projects come and go. Eventually, in my mind I thought the peeling shutters would be fixed when we paid someone to come and paint the entire exterior of the home. Quite, honestly, I had somewhat forgotten about them.

Now I will flash forward to the days immediately following the passing of our beloved daughter Katherine. Her death at five months of age was such a shock to everyone that people just did not know what to do. They did not know how to serve, help, succor. I felt that those first several days following her passing that my home had become an almost constant open house. All sorts of people in the form of family, friends, and ward members were coming and going all the time. One of the nights of the "open house" there were two relief society sisters in my home who had come by to check on me to see if there was anything that I may need.

I remember standing in the office of our home while my husband was working on Katherine's program for her funeral saying to them there was just nothing else I could think of that they could do for me.

They were practically begging me to say something in order to allow them to serve me. All of a sudden I thought of the shutters. The same shutters that had hung outside my home for over three years peeling and weather worn. I then suggested that they could maybe help me repaint these shutters that have bothered my for three years. My thought was that there were many family members who were coming for the funeral that had never seen my home and it would be nice if the shutters had a new coat of paint.

So, the next thing I know the two angel sisters (for they were angels to me) were outside my front door peeling off some paint chips to take to the store and match the color. About an hour later there were three men from the ward in paint clothes knocking at the door. With them came all the equipment needed to begin the project at 9:30 at night. It was summer and the evening was pleasant, but it was dark.

The darkness of the night did not deter these good brethren from completing their task. By the light of a full moon and some flashlights, they took down the shutters and then decided that the door frame should be painted as well in order to match the newly painted shutters. I stood in awe of these men painting my home, performing such a selfless act of service. That was an overwhelming feeling. They allowed my grieving husband to commune with them as they talked about whatever guys talk about during a paint project.

The project lasted into the wee hours of the morning. I remember drifting in and out of sleep. At some point I heard my blow-dryer in use as they were attempting to speed up the paint drying. Finally, at 1:30 a.m. I heard the drill and knew that the shutters were being placed back on my home and the project was completed.

When you think of service sometimes what comes to mind is bringing in a meal or watching someones children while they go to the doctor. Never in a million years would I ever think that painting someones shutters would have such an impact on my life. But it did. Their act of service buoyed me up during a very difficult time. I testify to you that I know that there good and righteous brothers and sisters in the Gospel truly lived the words spoken by the Savior when we declared: " . . . Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

Yesterday, I did another day of scrap booking at Children's. I spent about 6 hours with Katherine and her memory. These days are very difficult for me. They are bittersweet. Bitter to think that she is gone, but sweet thinking about the joy I will have when I see her again. I love you sweet Katherine, my arms ache to hold you again. I miss you with every breath that I take. I look forward to seeing you again.

Flat Stanley, Yes Flat Stanley

2010-10-24T14:13:00.000-07:00

So, the first couple of pictures are a picture for my mom of my kids in their new Halloween costumes that she sent. The other two pictures are from a birthday party that we went to with my friend Melissa's daughter Isabel. She had a Fancy Nancy party and they had to dress fancy and wanted to wear their new costumes. They had so much fun at the party, Melissa always puts on a great party. The girls loved it of course.

The next set of pictures are a result of some letters we received about a month ago from Idaho. My brother and his family live in Meridian and they have twins who are 7. So, their daughter Becca sent my girls a letter and their son Andrew sent Joseph a letter as well. The letter was about Flat Stanley who is a character from a book who has a black board fall on him and he becomes flat and then has the ability to fold himself up in an envelope and travel all over the world. So, Becca and Andrew's class at school decided to send the Flat Stanley's to us in Denver. We were the "host"family and had to take Stanley around and show him different places here in town. The first place we took him was to Katherine's, then the park. We then checked the book Flat Stanley from the library and took a picture there. Then we decided to hop on the light rail and take Flat Stanley on a tour of downtown. Out first stop was to Mile High Stadium. Then we got off at the Pepsi Center/Elitch Gardens stop. (Just as a side note, do not ride the elevator at that stop, oh man it was sketchy!) Then we got off at Union Station and then walked down to 18th and Black and took a picture of the Rockies Stadium. This is where Joseph's portion of the tour ended, however the girls insisted on one last stop. They took Flat Stanley to Sweet and Sassy for a picture with the pink limo. As you can well imagine, the kids loved hosting Flat Stanley. It was a perfect off track activity. So much fun. Thanks to Becca and Andrew for choosing us, we were honored to have him with us.

The Trip to Utah

2010-10-21T07:54:00.001-07:00

So, here are some pictures from our trip to Utah. We had so much fun. We took some of our cousins mini-golfing, the kids loved it. The weather was so beautiful and perfect. I took the kids to Gardner Village which is a shopping center filled with stuffed witches that the kids had to go around with a sheet on a scavenger hunt and find them all and then go and get a fresh baked cookie as a reward for all the hard work. It was so festive, truly Halloween in the air. All the trees were turning and the colors were striking. The kids had so much fun.

We saw lots and lots of family. The night before the wedding we went to a family BBQ at my aunt and uncle's new house and enjoyed seeing all the family there. The kids loved playing with all the other kids. The next day was the wedding with the sealing at Bountiful Temple which is huge. The temple itself is a small city. So big and set up on the hills of the city. Truly a city set on a hill like the Savior says. The bride was so beautiful, I loved her dress. There is just something about weddings that are so fun and festive. It brings back good memories of your own wedding. The dinner that night was at a reception center and Mike and I enjoyed a nice evening of good family and good food. We then made fools of ourselves attempting to dance after. The drive to and from was perfect weather which we were grateful for as well. All is all a great trip.

Some really cute pictures as always

2010-09-24T14:01:00.000-07:00

So, here are some pictures from the last couple of weeks and then some for that matter. This last one is from the Rockies game over Labor Day. Sorry it is sideways, but you know me and computers! My parents were supposed to come for Labor Day weekend, but my dad unknown to anyone but himself was having some chest pains for the last several weeks of August. He finally said something to my mom and then got right into a cardiologist. It was determined that he had five clogged arteries and had to get four stints in the main artery of the heart. He needs to go back on November 1st to get the final one in. So, needless to say, he was not able to come. But, is on the mend and doing much better and is in much better spirits. So, we ended up going to the Rockies game by ourselves, had a great time. The weather was beautiful and the kids loved it. We rode the Light Rail down and the kids loved that of course.

The other pictures are from the primary talent show. The kids did so good and had such a great time. Rachel hopped on one foot through a hula hoop and then Juliana did the hula hoop and cart wheels. Joseph played Fur Elise from memory and did so great, we are so proud of him.

The other pictures are from when my friend Rochelle was working out the details of the close of her house and I was watching her two really cute boys. The four of them decided to have a rock band and were jamming with Parker as the lead singer as he was the oldest of course. Needless to say they had a really great time. I am pretty sure my girls were the groupies for the band or something along that line. Then over lunch the younger son Sam asked Rachel to marry him, oh young love. Later Rachel told me she could not marry Sam and I said why not? She informed me she did not want to have the last name of Eggleston. Sorry Sam, maybe you could have better luck with Juliana. She may not be quite so picky with names.

Laurie from the barn sent me the information for the horse show and my classes in which I would compete are on conference Sunday, so I will for sure not be going this time. The cost to compete would be around $500 so, if I do ever compete, it would maybe once or twice a year and I would have to save up that is for sure! But, it is nice to know the costs now and it is also nice to be asked to compete. I am still riding Tego and doing really well. I jumped some cross rails at the canter and it felt great. I have not done that since college. I think I may actually be improving. Thanks Tego as always, you may me look great!

Pictures from the Weekend

2010-08-23T16:10:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures from this weekend. Our hometeacher who is a big golfer gave Mike some tokens to the local golf course to go and hit a bucket of balls, so he took the kids over and they hit some balls. Our hometeacher has also loaned us some of his old clubs as he and Mike are going golfing this Saturday, so we have some clubs now.

The girls and Mike also enjoyed a very fun Daddy and Daughter Olympics this past Saturday. Every year they hold this event for the dads and daughters and do really fun relays and other fun competitions. The girls proudly won two medals each taking second place in two events. I am not sure who is more proud, Dad or the girls.

My other piece of news is that after nearly a full year, I have finally been asked to compete for my riding. I was invited this past Thursday when I was at the barn. The event will be in October, I need more information before I decide if I want or can do it. But, it is flattering just to be asked. I am back riding Tego again to help with my leg strength when asking for a canter depart, oh that dang canter depart, it is one of the most difficult things to master, but I am working on it. It is nice to have a goal to work towards now. My goal would be to go to the competition and not embarrass myself or Snowfield Farms, and oh by the way, not fall off. We will see what happens.

First day of Kindergarten

2010-07-28T07:57:00.000-07:00

So, here are my really cute girls ready for their first day of kindergarten. They were so excited to go. They have been walking to and from Timberline for years now and it is finally their turn to go. They loved going and had such a good time. It was a little crazy once we got into the classroom. There are 23 kids in the class and then 23 parents and other siblings in tow, so it was a lot of people in a small space. But, we unpacked their school supplies which I bought from the PTO fundraiser last year. It was so convenient to show up with the kids and have their supplies in a box ready to go. So, then we went out and played with the class on the playground for about 20 minuets and then they lined up again to go into the classroom with Ms. Gedde. So, they loved their new teacher who did not seem to have a problem telling them apart, that is nice to see. Mike took the afternoon off and met the kids after school and we all went out to Chick-fil-A for a treat as a celebration for their first day. The girls and I also went to Children's Place and picked out new shirts for the occasion. They loved shopping and had a hard time choosing, but with a little help from mom, they finally choose. Back to school again today and then they are off the next two days as the teacher is doing the evaluation testing on the kids. So, by next week, they will have their first full week. Congrats girls!

Warning, lots of really cute pictures from our busy June

2010-07-12T14:05:00.000-07:00

In Memory of June 18th, 2009

2010-07-07T18:38:00.000-07:00

So, a couple of weeks ago we remembered the first anniversary of the passing of our beloved Katherine. The day went as well as it could have gone. I stayed busy which was what I needed to do to get through the day. We did a balloon release and sent her flowers from Fairmount. It was simple and perfect just what I wanted it to be.

As part of the grieving process, I have chosen to do a lot of writing about my feelings and where I am at in the whole process of enduring the trial of the loss of a child. As part of the writing I have chosen to take up journal writing again. I have not written in a journal since college, so it has been awhile for me. So, I have decided to share a part of what I have written in the journal to commemorate Katherine's loss and to help me remember her and the blessings that I have received through her passing.

That is what prompted this writing was homework from therapy to write about what I thought about which blessings have come since she has left us.

So, here goes. The journal entry is from May 7th, 2010,

I have had many blessings that are here to help me through this hard time. I think that I will take a moment to list some of these blessings.

Do you know that I have always loved horses? For as long as I can remember, I have loved horses. I remember I would have my mom take me to the library and I would look at all the horse books. It was a small library and they were all the same but that did not stop me. The classic story was that when I was in 1st grade I told my teacher that we owned a horse. A white horse as I recall. A beautiful white horse. That was not true of course. My family was a young family living in the suburbs of Phoenix, AZ in a small ranch house in Mesa. Needless to say, we did not have a horse. But, I told my teacher that I did, because in my mind I had one right? So, when my mom went into the parent teacher conference, my teacher said something about my horse, my mom said, "What horse?!" So the story goes.

There is something about the sites and sounds and smells of the barn that I find very appealing and comforting. I began riding when I was 12 and lived in England. I learned how to ride by jumping. I attended an English Hunter/Jumper school. My first lessons was on a Pinto pony named Pom Pom. I was taught the very basic essentials of the different gaits of walk/trot/canter. The next lesson, the teacher had me attempt to jump over a cavaletti. A cavaletti is a small jump. Of course, I was in the wrong position and fell off. My foot caught in the stirrup and I was hanging down with my head in the sand of the arena. My teacher came and picked me up and then asked if I wanted to do it again. I said of course I do! Thus began my illustrious career of riding.

I did not pick it up again until my junior year of college. At the time, BYU had an equestrian program in which I became involved in. I began riding 5-6 days a week. I was on a team in which we competed as a team and as individuals. I also taught classes as a T.A. In short, it was a huge part of my life. I loved every moment of it. Then I chose to get married and move to Denver and took 10 years off from riding.

Then my sweet Katherine passed away. The void she left in my life felt like a great abyss. I felt a need to be doing something. I decided to turn to the one thing I have always loved which is horses. I happened upon an advertisement of Snowfield Farms in a flyer. I was drawn to the picture because of the two women in it. I was worried because I was not a typical student. I was not a teenager nor a beginner. I was a 30 something mother of four seeking refuge and healing that horses could give me. I met with Laurie Juneman and she took me around her facility. Laurie is one of the blessings that I have been given through this loss. She is a sweet, thoughtful, selfless person. She is highly successful in her business. She has two facilities in which she owns and trains horses and riders. I go to the one in Parker and she also owns one in Vail. It is through the blessings of paying tithing and fast offerings that we are able to afford me going once a week. The time at the barn in a tender mercy and a generous blessing granted to me by a kind and thoughtful Heavenly Father. He knows how much I love horses and how healing it is for me. Therefor, He has allowed me the opportunity to be there. I would never in a million years go there, never would have even considered it. But, I know that life takes some unexpected turns.

I rode a horse name Houston for about 3 weeks and then he was injured. Then Laurie put me on Montego Bay. He is a bay gelding. He is very well trained and always makes me look good no matter what. He is a jumper and makes it look effortless. I rode Tego about 7 months and then Laurie decided I was good enough to ride another horse to challenge me and help me get stronger. I now ride the largest horse at the barn. He is a large and beautiful black gelding. He is the first horse I remember seeing when going to the barn. He is eye catching and impressive and tall. I have to stand on my tippy toes to place the reins over his head and that is after asking him to put his head down. He is a gentle giant and an absolute dream to ride in the arena. So supple and turns on a dime for such a large horse. As you can well imagine he has great strength and power. He loves to canter and jump. He was trained and competed on the professional Hunter/Jumper Circuit. His name is Big Thom, I often call him Thomas.

When I am having a hard time, or perhaps feeling a little sorry for myself, I turn or perhaps it is Heavenly Father turning me to this blessing as a reminder of the many things I have gained through this loss.

So, that is the entry. I thought some may appreciate this part of a way to remember my sweet daughter. After writing this, I mentioned to Laurie about it and how I had found her in the advertisement. She then told me that was the only time she ever paid for an advertisement like the one I found her in. She said that it was very expensive to pay for it and she only did it that one time. Another tender mercy in the hands of Heavenly Father? Maybe, I like to think so. I love you sweet Katherine. I look forward with great joy of seeing you again.

Lots of Pre-School Fun

2010-06-10T10:00:00.001-07:00

So, here are some pictures of the girls from pre-school. I put on their first and last day of pre-school. The others are from their graduation ceremony. They performed a play about nursery rhymes. Rachel was Jill who flew to Mars. Juliana was Old Woman who lived in the Shoe and then had too many kids and moved to a Sandal. It was so cute. Sorry some of the pictures are a bit blurry, probably because I was the one taking them. You can get the idea though. They graduated and loved every moment of pre-school. We ended the evening by going out to On the Border, that was their pick. We all enjoyed a great meal. Congrats Girls. We Love You.

About the Pictures

2010-05-28T14:48:00.000-07:00

So, I have posted some pictures of the last two springs. The first set is of Katherine's blessing day which was just over a year ago. I have been thinking a lot about her lately, so I just wanted to put them on the blog to remember her, we sure miss her and think of her often.

The other pictures are of the activities of the kids these last several weeks. Joseph had a spring choir concert which was a beach themed music night. He was one of the four beach boys and played a plastic blow up guitar to Surf in USA. He did so good, and he looked just like a beach boy. The best looking one of the bunch if I may say so myself.

The girls have been doing several fun end of the year activities for pre-school. They made little dolls that looked like them, which they have loved playing with this past week. They also had the Fun Bus come and they played on the bus for an hour and had the time of their lives. So much fun, what a cute idea. Tomorrow is their graduation and play for pre-school. They are doing a play about nursery rhymes. Rachel is Jill from Jack and Jill. Juliana is The Old Woman in the Shoe I think, she keeps switching back and forth from the Shoe story and Old Mother Hubbard, so I am not sure who she will be, but we will find out tomorrow. I will make sure to post some pictures of that as well.

We had the Multi-Cultural night last night at Timberline. Each family was to bring a food that their family likes to eat to share. We brought a bucket of extra-crispy KFC, because that is one of our favorites. There were a ton of people at the school. Each grade sang a song. Joseph sang "America the Beautiful." He did great of course.

I had a great trip to Utah this past weekend. I was able to be there for Diane's birthday and to see family and parents. I ate out a ton. My dad and I went out on a breakfast date to a fun waffle place. I enjoyed a pecan waffle, so yummy. Then we had Olive Garden, Pei Wei, and Ruby Tuesday's. I told you it was a lot of eating. But so good to see everyone. I miss them, and loved my time there. I loved sleeping in the bunny room at Diane's. So cozy and lots of good memories there. My flight home was delayed for over an hour due to mechanical problems with the plane in Vegas. So I spent three hours at the airport, but that was the only draw back to a great weekend.

Joseph and I were supposed to perform at our piano recital as we are both taking lessons for my friend Kayla. But about an hour before the recital Joseph decided to empty to contents of his stomach on my friend Lindsay's tile floor during choir practice. It was a mess, poor thing. He felt much better after, but he did not go to the recital. I got out of playing my two pieces I had prepared which was for the best, I was nervous. I was going to play Reverently, Quietly and Sweet Hour of Prayer.

Then on Monday, we took our family pictures with my friend Kristie. That went very well. It was windy, but a very sunny day. Kristie said the pictures look good, I am anxious to see them. I will post them on the blog when they are ready.

Pictures of the the Last Two Springs

2010-05-27T13:20:00.000-07:00

About the Trip III

2010-04-23T18:15:00.000-07:00

Well, I left off after Alcatraz which we loved.

After getting off the ferry at the wharf, we rode the buses up to China Town and spent the rest of the afternoon there. How can I describe the oldest and one of the largest China Town's in the country? Well, it was fascinating and I loved every bit of it. The streets are very steep and you need to hold on tight to the rail of the bus as it is going up the steep incline. You have to climb out of the bus at your stop.

Our first stop was at the Dim Sum place that was recommended in the guide book. It was called the AH He Tea Room. It has been opened since 1920 and looked like it. It was off an alley way but just about everything there is off an alley way. The restaurant was very small about 8 tables. We did not get there until 3:00, so we were the only ones there besides the people working there. They were sitting at the table next to us eating their lunch while we were eating our lunch, it was just that type of place. Very family friendly and casual. It was as if you had a Chinese grandmother and you walked into her kitchen and ate what she made. That is how they made us feel. Very warm and welcoming. The food was traditional Dim Sum and we ordered the Dim Sum lunch. It was a culinary adventure that is for sure. It was excellent, and has now ruined all other Chinese food for me. P.F. Change's pales in comparison now. Mike loved it. We ate everything and it was the perfect amount of food. We left full and happy much like the happy Buddha shrine that we passed by on the way out. Buddha eats lunch there as well, he had a plate of food out and candles burning. It was quite the sight.

We then walked up a very steep hill in the wrong direction, but when is SF you must walk up at least one steep hill, right? We got our bearings and then asked the man cleaning the streets where to find our next destination. He gave us the directions and we headed out into the busy and foreign streets of China Town. Everywhere you looked there were crowds people. Can you picture the old man pushing a little cart laden with his fresh groceries that he had just bought? Perhaps you can picture the tail of the red fish still flapping in the grocery bag, that was one fresh fish. Picture store window after store window of butchers. They had displayed their wares of whole chickens, pigs, birds. Can you see the pork fat dripping into the chop suey displayed in the window? Can you smell all the smells? The air was filled with spices and chatter. Absolutely magical, enchanting. I felt transported to a different place and time. Time as seemed to stop there.

Our next stop was the fortune cookie "factory." I use the term "factory" loosely as it was a very small store front. We found it off another alley way. The man sitting out front of the store took one look at us and knew we were there to see the "factory." I am not sure how he knew that, maybe because we were the only white people in several blocks. We were warmly invited in to see the cookies being hand made, each one carefully folded and stuffed with the paper. I asked the woman if I could take a picture. She said 50 cents. Apparently there was a hand written sign that was above her head that said if you wanted a picture, pay 50 cents. I dug through my purse and placed 50 cents in the jar sitting across from her. It was so much fun seeing that.

About the Trip Part II

2010-04-22T09:36:00.000-07:00

The third day of the trip was spent partly on the famous island of Alcatraz. We had purchased the tickets in advanced as the boats book up quickly. We took the ferry out into the bay again and were dropped off on the island.

We were able to go on an hour long tour with one of the park rangers who took us around the island and took us into some of the places that are not opened to the public. The ranger has been working on Alcatraz for 20 years and knew his stuff. He said that the night before he had spent sleeping on the island with a school group. A sleep over on Alcatraz, sounds a little spooky to me. The tour was great. He told us a lot about the history of the island which has been occupied for 200 years. It was first a military garrison and then became a prison. It was only the famous prison for about 28 years, not for very long. He took us underneath some of the caves of the island and then took us into a room where they used to do the laundry. The prisoners would so the laundry for the military and part of their time. The picture of the wash basin is said to be the one that Al Capone used while he was there. This room was also where they filmed a scene from "The Rock" with Nick Cage and Sean Connery. There was a lot of history there, you could feel it in the air, I loved it.

After the tour we walked the island which is rich in wildlife and greenery. There were gardens that were tended by the prisoners there as well. Very beautiful. Alcatraz is a place of stark contrast. So much beauty yet so much pain and suffering. We hiked up several large hills and one steep staircase leading to the open yard where the prisoners had free time. We then went into the cell block and took the audio tour. Absolutely fascinating. This is a must if you have an opportunity to go. It was amazing, so much history, so dark, murky, and sad there. Again you can just feel it in the air. There is something haunting about it. After the prison closed down in the 60's, the Indians took over for 19 months and a large group of them lived on the island. This was when a large portion of the island was burned down, several of the buildings were destroyed and still remain that way today. We loved this time, I will say not kid friendly, there was a lot of climbing, you had to climb a steep incline the equivalent of a 13 story building. A lot of walking. But it was worth it.

About the Trip

2010-04-21T18:29:00.000-07:00

We had such a great time on our trip to San Fransisco. We fell in love with the city, it is so fun and beautiful.

Thank you so much for the people who so graciously accepted to take our children for a couple of days, it was the perfect amount of time to be away. Thank you to all for allowing us some time away to have some fun as a couple. It was just what we needed as we continue to work through this difficult time as we are coming up on the first year anniversary. Thank you all for your unselfish service in our behalf.

Our trip began early as our flight left around 10:30. We arrived in SF around noon. The first item on the itinerary (yes we had one) was going to the temple. This part of the trip I refer to as our Oakland Adventure. We checked into the hotel and then hopped on the BART which is the subway through both cities. We took this to Oakland and could see the temple sitting high on the foothills of the city. Oakland is an industrial type of place. There were lots of shipping areas and factories. The streets were narrow and crowded. We decided to take a cab up to the temple. We met a very interesting cab driver, but aren't they all? He was very nice and talkative and of course Mike shared the Gospel with him as we wound up through the steep hills of Oakland. We made it up there and then arranged for him to come pick us up after. The Oakland temple is beautiful and sits high up on a hill and overlooks both cities and the bay. Truly majestic and breathtaking. The cab driver told us many people use it as a guide when driving around. The inside of the temple was huge as well as you can imagine. It felt a lot like the Salt Lake Temple in size. The session went well and then we walked around for a bit after. We went over to the visitor center and toured that while waiting for our ride. We then made it back to the subway and headed back into SF.

Our first item on the list then was to eat at the historic Joe's Cable Car Diner. This was Mike's pick which he got off of Diner, Drive In and Dives on Food Network. We loved it, so yummy. It has been there since 1965. It is a very small place about 10 tables. They hand cut the beef and then put it in the grinder for every order fresh. The butcher that night was named Nelson. Funny! We got a picture by him, it was a fun evening.

The next morning we arose early and were picked up by Tower Tours to begin our Deluxe City Tour. Our first stop on the tour was crossing over and then stopping near the Golden Gate Bridge as seen in the pictures. So beautiful. The weather was perfect, so sunny and warm, no fog, just great. Our next stop on the tour was at Golden Gate Park near the bridge. We were able to see where they do the outdoor shows in the summer and then toured the famed Japanese Tea Garden. This was a quiet, peaceful, beautiful place. We loved it. We then drove past the famed "Painted Ladies" which are the row of houses made famous from "Full House." Our next stop was at City Center and we walked around the financial area for a bit.

We were dropped off at Fisherman's Wharf by the bay. We then ate at the famous Boudine Bakery which was where sourdough was first invented. We enjoyed a great lunch of a clam chowder bread bowl. They made beautiful loaves of bread out of bears, crabs, lobsters, and snakes. The bakery was huge and toted around the bread in big baskets high above your head on an pulley system, it was fascinating, I loved it.

After lunch we hopped on a large Ferry Boat and went on an hour tour of the bay. This was so fun, we went around and under the Golden Gate Bridge and then went around Alcatraz.

After the ferry boat we walked the wharf and saw and smelled the famous sea lions at Pier 39. There were loud and stinky. We walked around the fun stores of that area. Then we ended up getting on the cable car and got off near Lombard Street. I loved Lombard Street. So fun, So San Fransisco. We then got a little lost because we did not have a car. We were getting around on the bus and the BART. We did have a great map and found a kind local who pointed us the right direction to the restaurant.

I had chosen this restaurant and it came highly recommended. It was called Enrico's and has been opened since 1958. There were many famous people who have eaten there. Famous poets, authors like Steinbeck. It used to be a great hangout for the beatniks during the 60's and 70's, in short it was quite historic. What the guide book failed to mention was that it was not in the best side of town. The food was excellent. Italian Bistro style we shared a great salad and pizza. We ate there and loved it and then walked/jogged out of the area because it was a more than a little scary and was able to get back on the subway to the hotel. What a fun and perfect full day. We loved every moment of it even the bad side of town.

Just Pictures from the Trip

2010-04-21T08:19:00.001-07:00

Easter Egg Hunt and Bouncy Party On

2010-04-09T13:04:00.000-07:00

So, here are some pictures of the last couple of days from our house.

As Joseph is still off track, we are going on little outings now and then to help pass the time. We went to Party On in Parker where they have a warehouse full of bouncy houses. They have a family fun night for $5 per kid to bounce and have a great time. The kids loved it as you can well imagine. I brought a book as usual and let the kids run around and have the time of their lives. They loved the pirate ship and bouncy castle that had a basketball hoop to make shots and then two slides to slide out of it. They had a huge fire engine slide as well. It was a great time.

The other pictures of from the Easter Egg Hunt at pre-school. The girls brought their Easter baskets and they had to hunt for eggs around Teacher Lori's house because it had snowed that morning. They had so much fun and I am pretty sure Joseph had just about as much fun as well. Although after the hunt he informed me that he really was too big for pre-school and that he really should be in 4th grade. I said you are in 4th grade just on break. He said "Oh, yeah, I forgot." They loved their little surprises they got in the eggs and made little bunny bags as well, so cute as usual.

Then yesterday afternoon I unfortunately realized that my dryer was no longer working. It was stone cold and the clothes in them were partly wet. I think it must have gone about a half a cycle before giving out. The problem with the washer and dryer is that we bought it used and do not even know how old it is to begin with. We purchased them when we purchased our town house. The woman we bought it from left them there. So, we have gotten a lot of life out of them. We have repaired the dryer once before years ago. But, decided then that if there was another problem then we would buy a new one. That is what happened. I piled the kids into the van and we went over to Home Depot which has become the store where we have bought all of our appliances. They had just started a sale yesterday giving you 10% off an appliance purchase. So, we have a new dryer. It cannot be delivered until Tuesday though because they do not deliver Sunday or Mondays and they are booked through the weekend. So, I will have to set aside my OCD ways and not do a load of laundry for the next couple of days. I think that it is the supreme irony that the last time we went on a trip we had to buy a fridge. Now we are going on another trip and have to buy a dryer. Does this mean we have to buy a washer in June? I sure hope not, but we will see.

All About the Hubble

2010-04-06T15:58:00.000-07:00

So, today the kids and I went to see the I-MAX at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. Joseph is off track right now so it was a nice afternoon activity to do. He needed to go to a museum to help earn part of an activity badge for Weblos. We have been to the Museum several times, so I thought it would be fun to go and see the movie there.

It was beautiful and amazing. They showed the astronauts repairing the Hubble for the last time before it is lost into space. They have repaired the telescope several times before and this was the final time and they were able to place several new lenses into it to see the vast expanse of space more clearly. It was fascinating. They had many different shots of space and stars. So clear and breathtaking. I learned something new as well. When you are in orbit, the sun rises and sets every 90 minuets, who knew?

They showed one of the astronauts eating a chicken burrito while on the aircraft. The burrito with the chicken on it flipped over entirely and the chicken never fell off. Incredible. Remind me never to go up in space though, the female astronaut's hair was sticking straight up the whole time and looked quite silly, not my thing I need my hair by my head thank you very much. If you need something to do with the kids, this was a fun outing.

About the Pictures

2010-04-04T18:58:00.000-07:00

So, here are some pictures over the last couple of weeks.

Last week Joseph had his pine wood derby. His car is the red one. He named it Manly Katherine. Manly after a decal that he placed on it and then Katherine after Katherine of course. He informed us that when we cheered for the car as it was racing that we should only say Go Manly! Go Figure?! He also received several activity badge pins for his Weblos and is planning to earn his badge within three months. He is so excited about that and is looking forward to earning it. Joseph loves scouts.

The boys had their first baseball game yesterday. It was Mike' s coaching debut and it went really well. They lost, but I am sure they will win some games later in the season as they get used to playing together as a team. It was nice to have some warm weather to play in, it was a great weekend weather wise.

I went riding on Friday afternoon as Mike had the day off for Good Friday. The lesson went very well except when I rammed my foot into the side of the fence in the arena. It was my fault, I asked Big Tom to move forward into the canter and he moved forward as asked of course but my foot got in the way of the fence. It made a really loud sound and then I felt stupid. Laurie was worried that I was hurt. I said the only thing hurt was my pride. As seen in the pictures I have on my new pants, hat, and gloves. I bought new riding gloves to go with my new fancy horse. If I may be so bold as to say Big Tom is my horse. He is mine for an hour once a week right? Laurie with several of her younger riders is going to California for two weeks to compete in a horse show there. They are planning to rent a condo there and stay the whole time. How fun for them, I hope they do well.

We had a good Easter. We did our Easter egg hunt yesterday after the afternoon session of conference. The girls got new blankets as their old blankets were being held together by tape, they were in some sad shape. Joseph got a new kite for the spring. He also got a toy that records everything you say. Every time we check out at Target my kids are drawn to this toy which is just by the registers. They love it and play with it every time we are there. So, the Easter Bunny brought it to Joseph. What the Easter Bunny did not realize was how loud it is and how much the kids want to play with it all the time, what was the Bunny thinking?

We went and saw Katherine today. She got a bunny and some pretty Easter Lillies. We sure miss her and love her very much. Holidays are very difficult when you have lost someone you love. It has been hard.

Pictures

2010-04-04T17:52:00.001-07:00

Could I please speak to the Maitre De?

2010-04-01T15:21:00.000-07:00

Maitre De, what a fancy name right? Well, come to find out that is the show name of the horse I am riding. Yes, the biggest horse at the farm is named Maitre De! What a funny name for a horse. I like Big Tom much better don't you? I guess Maitre De is his show name when he competes but Big Tom is his "barn"name. He used to compete on the professional level like Tego before being sold to Laurie. When I was getting on him the other day, Laurie called him Maitre De, I said excuse me?

I finally bought some new riding breaches to wear while I am riding. Both of the pairs I had from college I had being wearing these past several months. The one pair that fit me well had a hole in the seat of them for weeks, but I was still wearing them. Then they got a hole on the side by my knee and then I had to get rid of them, finally. I got a lot of wear out of them. So, the other pair were just way too tight. Lets face the facts here, I have had four kids. Back to A bit of Tack yesterday and I got a very nice pair that are very comfortable. Myself and my three kids were packed into the little dressing room while I was trying them on to make sure they were not too long. Not the best of circumstances to try on clothes, but I needed to get them before Friday, so there I was. But, I can be fast with trying on clothes when I need to be. Let me tell you I was speedy. I will look forward to wearing them tomorrow.

Joseph is off track right now, so we have a little bit more free time which is nice. We all went down to the new American Girl Doll Store the other day. It was really busy, I think I need to go back again when it is not so busy and I think the girls will like it even better than they already did. It was really cute, every little girl's dream. They loved to look around, Joseph did not. He was a good sport about it as he always is.

The pictures

2010-03-20T17:06:00.001-07:00

Leprechauns and Big Tom

2010-03-20T16:46:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, leprechauns come and visited the girl's pre-school. They over turned tables and left a mess for the kids to clean up. So, when the girl's got home from school, they were talking a lot about leprechauns. So, later that day, Juliana asked me to write a letter to them. It goes as follows:

Leprechauns:

Could you please clean up the mess you left behind?

Could you please give me some candy?

Could you please give me some toys?

Could you please give me some gold?!

Could you please grant me a wish?

Where do you live?

My name is Juliana Nelson.

I love you.

She then asked me to hand the letter on the door that leads out to the garage so that the leprechauns can see it.

So, fast forward two weeks and you will see from the pictures what the leprechauns brought everyone.

The girls also had a really cute Leprechaun program that they performed for all of us at pre-school. Juliana was a leprechaun and Rachel was a toadstool, although dressed like a leprechaun and was holding an umbrella to make her look like a toadstool. It was so cute, and they did so good talking, singing, and dancing.

The Big Tom part of this post is about the new horse that I will be riding. Today was the first time I rode him. I met Big Tom the first time I went to the barn to take the tour and meet Laurie. He is very tall and the biggest horse at the farm. He is a beautiful black with a bright blue right eye. His left eye is brown and the blue eye is very rare to see on a horse. Laurie feels like I am getting good enough to begin to ride other horses, so Big Tom was my first try on a new horse. It went very well and he is a great ride, although very different from Tego. I will miss Tego, but I know I will ride him again. At the end of the lesson, Sarah remarked how much Tom liked me and how well I was doing on him. I said of course he likes me, I love him. He made me look good, just like Tego. Then as we were leaving the arena, I made the mistake of getting in the way of Tom's very large hoof and he stepped on my toes. Oh, that hurt. But my toes are intact and they are pretty badly bruised. I need to make sure I have better footing around him. He seems to be a little more in your face kind of horse. It was so much fun as usual. I look forward to the challenge of helping Laurie work with another horse that is coming off an injury and has not been ridden in over a year. I will begin to ride her in about a month. I met her today, her name is Mary and she is also a beautiful black altough quite a bit shorter than Tom.

Silly Birthday Boys

2010-03-09T13:02:00.000-08:00

So, here are the rest of the pictures from the birthday festivities. As you can see, the boys had so much fun! Oh, the joys of three very silly boys at a very fun birthday party. Joseph invited his two best friends from school to join him for the party. Then he decided that he wanted to go bowling and then to Red Robin for dinner. We picked up the boys right after school on Friday. Mike took the afternoon off and then we went out for the fun. We arrived at the bowling alley in Lone Tree by the Park Meadows Mall and got all set up with a lane. The alley was very nice and Mike was able to set up the bumpers for the kids and then they went down for his turn. He actually did quite well on his game. Good job dear! I of course was the cheering section. I do not like to bowl so I just watched and kept a close eye on the five kids that I was in charge of at the time. Everyone had so much fun there. The girls used the little ramp that they provide to help them get the ball down the lane. They were fascinated by a young man next to us that was bowling several games in a row. Clearly he was there all the time and I am pretty sure he got a strike every turn. They kept telling me how good he was. The boys had a great time taking turns and in between turns we opened up presents. I have put pictures of what the Grandparents have sent him. Thanks guys! The Nelson's sent him Harry Potter books and a shirt and then my parents sent him a gift card to Barns and Noble. He loved spending the card and was able to get three more books there. He has a large stack on his bed side table of books, he reads every morning before getting up and then reads again before bed. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law sent him a cute horse Webkinz to go with his other ones. She said that it was supposed to remind him of Tego, but Joseph decided to name him Mickey. Go Figure? We got him Operation and then the girls got him a bulldog Webkinz named Vador as in Darth Vador and a Hippo named Z-Man after his friend Zachary.

After bowling and presents we headed over to Red Robin for dinner. The kids all had different kids meals and I had the cheeseburger and Mike had a steak sandwich. Everyone had a great time there as well.

The boys will begin baseball at the end of the week. Mike is so excited for it to start. He has gotten how to DVD's from the library and books about coaching little league as well. He is planning to go to a certification class this Thursday and become a certified coach through the City of Aurora. I know that we will be a great coach because he learned how to be a great coach from his dad who coached for many seasons his three sons when Mike was Joseph's age. Isn't funny how life is the same that way sometimes? Ron (my father-in-law) taught Mike and now Mike will teach Joseph. Circle of life I suppose.

Tego and I had a great lessons on Saturday. I did some more jumping patterns and they are becoming more difficult, but I am learning and slowly getting better. It was such a nice day that Laurie told me to walk around on Tego outside for a bit before getting off and untacking him. It was so fun to walk around until he decided he was done walking and began to eat dead grass by the trees. Oh, the joys of working with a large animal.

Joseph will be starting Weblos as well. I just cannot believe it. Ten years ago I was pregnant with him , it does not seem like it was that long ago. Happy Birthday my dear, sweet Joseph. We love you and are very proud of you.

Bowling with the Boys (and the girls)

2010-03-09T10:02:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures from the weekend, I will plan to write more later.

Bob the Bullfrog and the Olympics

2010-03-03T18:44:00.000-08:00

For Christmas, Joseph got two webkinz from Santa. One is a lion named J-Man and the other is a very fat, very spotted and rather cute bullfrog named Bob. (Please do not ask me where the Bob part came in, it was Rachel's suggestion.) So, ever since Christmas, Bob has been a close part of our family. Joseph loves him and takes him just about everywhere. (I have told him much to his chagrin that he cannot take him to church.) I know, mean mom.

So, naturally, Joseph and Bob the Bullfrog watched the Olympics together. I am not quite sure who was more captivated, Bob or Joseph with all the events and athletes. I am not quite sure who had the bigger crush on Lindsay Vonn, Bob or Joseph? I am pretty sure it was Joseph, although Bob would have made a close second runner up or shall we say silver medalist? Just as a side note, Joseph is in love with Lindsay Vonn, he has always had a thing for older women. But he has good taste, she is beautiful. Bob's favorite events were the skiing and he loved it when they crashed. Bob (oh I mean Joseph) said that was his favorite part, to see them crash, must be a boy thing. Needless to say, we loved the Olympics!

Mike is beginning to start coaching Joseph's baseball team through the City of Aurora with another person from our ward whose son will also be on the team. They are so excited about starting. I am glad that Mike is done with school so he feels like he can commit to something like this. He will do great, and Joseph will love it.

We closed on our re-financing our mortgage this past weekend. It was a big process and I am glad that it is over. But, it has been for the best and it will be nice to have one payment instead of two.

Things at the barn are going very well for me and Tego. I had another really great lesson this past weekend. I am still continuing to do jumping patterns. They are very challenging but I love it and would not have it any other way. Tego always makes me look so good, he know what he is doing and I am learning a lot from him. Thanks Teg, you are the best!

This past weekend, I went to the hospital and worked for several hours on the scrap booking for Katherine. I really did not think I would be there that long, but I got there at 9:30 and left at 3:45. We did stop for lunch and then returned to work. It was a really good experience. The Creative Memories consultants donate their time and many of their supplies to the event. I enjoy scrap booking, but this was the Cadillac version of it. I have never worked with Creative Memory supplies, they were so nice, very high quality. I was totally addicted to it. The pages that I have done have turned out beautifully and I plan to return to do it again in June. The pages are sitting in my closet here and if anyone would like to see them sometime, let me know and come on over and I will show you.

A Fun Night Contined

2010-02-18T13:17:00.000-08:00

Sorry, I did not get a chance to finish with the last post I had to dash off to piano lessons. I am now officially going to learn a song out of the Children's Songbook. Big News! I will be playing Book of Mormon Stories. Kayla says it is one of the easiest in the book, we will see how it goes, wish me luck.

Alright, back to the Buckhorn. We ordered this yummy soup which has been on the menu for more than 100 years. So good! We loved it. Mike wanted to order the rattlesnake or crocodile appetizer. Both dishes were deep fried and served with several dipping sauces. But there were no dipping sauces that would be good enough for me to try either of those dishes. He really wanted to get the Rocky Mountain Oysters which the Buckhorn is famed to have created. I said no way!

We settled on our entrees. I got the lamb chops that were served with a rosemary balsamic glaze. It was good. The lamb was very sweet. Mike ordered the salmon and then a buffalo tenderloin. He insisted that I try the tenderloin which I did. It tasted like dirt smells. I did not care for it. Mike loved it.

The other pictures of from the Valentine's party from Joseph 4th grade class. The kids had so much fun, they loved it.

I plan to go to Children's Hospital this Saturday for a day of scrap booking. The foundation of Children's Miracle Network works with a couple of consultants of Creative Memories. The consultants donate their time and then provide the full supplies of a scrap book. They asked for a $20 donation and I felt like I was stealing from them because Creative Memories is so nice but so expensive. I am putting together an album of Katherine. I will let you know how that days goes.

An Evening at the Buckhorn Exchange

2010-02-18T09:38:00.000-08:00

So, here are the pictures from our fun evening out on the town at the old-fashion Buck horn Exchange for our Valentine's Anniversary. It was 11 years ago that Mike asked me to marry him on the grounds of the Las Vegas temple. It was a beautiful warm day in sunny Las Vegas. We had driven down from Provo to stay with my family. It was the first time that Mike had met my parents and younger brother Reed and younger sister Tiffany. The story goes that Reed raided my mom's jewelry box and pulled out a ring and placed it in a ring box that was evidently near by. He then gave it to Mike and told him to use it. He then used the ring when he proposed. After I got over the initial surprise of the proposal, I took a closer look at the ring and found it to be strangely familiar. Almost familiar enough to the point of thinking that I have worn this ring before, which I had. Ah, good times and better memories. Happy Anniversary dear, I sure love you, you are the best.

So, back to the Buck horn. Due to the fact that I am a history nerd, please permit me to provide some background information to the restaurant's long and sordid history. The name was originally The Buck horn Restaurant located right across the train tracks of the Rio Grand Railroad Yards in Denver. Right around the year 1894, the work whistle would blow at noon and all the railroad workers would cross the tracks and pour into the saloon/restaurant. H.H. Shorty Scout Zietz, the owner would give gold and silver for the paychecks of the workers along with a token for a free lunch and beer. Soon, the name of the restaurant became the Buck horn Exchange because so many workers would come for the free lunch and how many workers only got one beer? Or so the story goes. The Buck horn has hosted many famous people including Theodor Roosevelt, Sitting Bull's nephew, Dwight Eisenhower, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, Bob Hope, James Cagney just to name a few. We ordered the house specialty (one of two) that was created by T. Roosevelt when he and the owner went on a hunting trip up in the mountains near Glenwood Springs. Legend has it that T. Roosevelt made the famous navy blue bean and ham soup while on the trail and then gave the recipe to Shorty and it has been on the menu since then. It was so good!

Valentine's Parties

2010-02-12T14:55:00.000-08:00

So, this week we had a couple of valentine's parties.

On Wednesday, the girls had their party for pre-school and had so much fun. They made really cute bags to collect their valentines in. Super cute! They came home with a lot of candy which is now sitting in my pantry waiting to be eaten.

We just got back from Joseph's party at school. It was at 2:00 this afternoon. In years past it was always at 8:00 in the morning, but this year it was later. So, the girls and I went with cookies. He was delighted that we were there. The girls were a little overwhelmed by all the kids, but seemed to have a good time. Then he came home with a lot of candy as well. It was a fun time for me to visit with the other moms and the kids ran around and ate a lot of cookies and candy, it was a party.

Mike and I are looking forward to our plans that we have made for tomorrow night. I choose to make reservations at Buckhorn Exchange which is located at 10th and Osage in Denver. Mike would pass the restaurant every time he would go to school and want to eat there. He mentioned to me several times, so I decided to call about a month ago and make the reservation. It is quite a historical place. It is the oldest restaurateur in Denver. It is located next to the light rail station because it used to be where one of the main train depots were located. So the restaurant was built there to serve the railway workers. It was a saloon and a place for the ladies of the night back in the day. But, now it is a famous old steak house that specializes in serving all types of meats. They have elk, bison and yak. I will not be having any of those. They are also famous for creating their signature dish which is rocky mountain oysters. I will not be eating those either. However, they have several different cuts of stake or lamb chops to choose from those do not sound too bad to me. Mike is looking forward to it and so am I. I will let you know how it is after we get back.

I am still enjoying my time with my Montego. This last week was a challenge. He bolted and ran as fast as he could and then tried to buck me off. Ride 'em Cowgirl. It was an adventure. But, I am still in love with him. I was able to buy a new helmet to go with my new boots and chaps. So, now I do not need to borrow anything from Laurie except her saddle and horse. But, those items are very expensive. So, I will enjoy what I have. I will take a picture of me in the whole outfit and then post it so you can see my new helmet, get the full effect.

My piano lessons are going very well. I am learning a lot. I think I may actually learn how to play. Thanks to Kayla for taking the time to teach me, I love the challenge.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Beanie Baby Bingo . . . Again

2010-01-21T14:28:00.000-08:00

We had our final reunion meeting last night at Children's Hospital. We are now officially done with that group. Joseph had his usual class and we met with the other adults like we have been doing over these last couple of months.

I have decided that there is always something really fun and festive going on for the kids there. Last night, we walked into the main lobby and ran into the woman in charge of the volunteers. She recognized us and called the girls and Joseph by name. She said she had missed seeing them and invited the girls to the fun festival they had going on. They had arranged a group of adult volunteers to come and do various activities. She told the girls the list of activities and their eyes were as wide as saucers and they were so excited. They were able to play beanie baby bingo again and won a beanie baby each. Rachel choose a purple bear named Millennium no surprise there as its birthday was January 1, 1999. Each beanie baby comes with a given name and a birthday. Juliana choose a white unicorn named Mystic. Joseph was given the opportunity to choose one after the classes like last time. He choose a super cute green dragon named Scorch. Then the girls were able to win books and then got their face painted. Rachel got a purple flower and Juliana a pink butterfly. Then they got their picture taken and made a cute frame to go with it. What a fun night as usual for them. Like last time there were many other children there that were very frail and sick. Many were in wheelchairs and had many I.V.'s in them.

We as adults enjoyed a fun pizza party and were able to visit and get to know each other a bit better. It was a fun night had by all.

The Pictures and The Crossing

2010-01-19T10:05:00.000-08:00

Here are the pictures from the birthday party for Katherine. It was a warm and beautiful day that day, the pictures turned out well. That is because I was not taking them.

Joseph and I went to The Crossing yesterday to prepare and serve lunch there. The Crossing is run by The Denver Rescue Mission. It is a temporary housing facility for people trying to get back up on their feet. We arrived at the facility which is a converted old motel and were given aprons and a job. We first opened up a whole bunch of ground up elk meat for bean and beef burritos to be served for dinner that night. I have never seen so much elk meat in my life. The man running the kitchen told me they get it donated a lot from the packing company that people use to pack the meat that they get from hunting. People forget to come and pick up the meat and it is given to The Crossing. We then opened a whole bunch of re fried beans and then layered up tortillas. We then got kicked out of the kitchen because someone else decided that Joseph was too short to be in there. So, we were assigned dish duty and Joseph brought in the dirty dishes from the lunch room to the dish washing area. We were then asked to serve dessert in the serving line. Joseph dished up cookies and I made a huge mess dishing up a huge bowl of chocolate pudding. Joseph was a great worker as usual and it was a comfort to have him with me. There were many kids there his age because it was a holiday and they were not in school. We saw several families and many single men there. It seemed that people could come off the street and get a meal. I saw many coming in while we were serving. It was a bake potato bar and it smelled good. We were offered to eat there, but I told Joseph that the food was not for us and that we had plenty at home. Everyone there was very nice and expressed their thanks for us being there. The workers were mostly adult men and were so cute and patient with Joseph. He just blended right in with them. It was a great way to honor the memory of Katherine and we will plan to go and serve there again in June to remember when she left us to go and live in Heaven where she belongs.

Katherine's Birthday

2010-01-17T15:16:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was our dear sweet Katherine's 1st birthday. It was a hard day, we miss her very much.

I had a nice weekend planned to help me through the hard times. My dear friends Melissa and Kristie met me at Fairmount and we went to see Katherine on Friday. Mike had planned to take the day off so it worked out really well. Melissa brought a cute pink bird to keep there with her. Kristie gave us a beautiful crystal pink rose in a vase that we are keeping at the house. Mike and I have decided that is what will represent Katherine for us in our minds. We will remember her through pink roses. I think this came about when someone sent us a bouquet of baby pink roses after she passed away and that has just stuck with me. Thank you so much to Kristie for such a thoughtful and beautiful gift. Mike has suggested that we take it with us on trips and set it out to remind us of her memory. I really like that idea.

After seeing Katherine, we went out to lunch and it was so much fun. We went to Pei Wei which is a great Chinese place owned by P.F. Chang's. So good. I had the Beef Lo Mein and Spring Rolls. It was yummy! We had a great time visiting, thanks guys for a great afternoon.

Saturday dawned as I knew it would. I arose early and went to the gym. I then went out to the barn and had a great lesson with Laurie and Tego. I did some trotting while sitting, oh that hurt! I am still sore from that. I then did some cantering and a jumping pattern. Laurie tied my stirrups to the saddle to help me keep my legs in place. It worked out great. I need that every time. Oh, wait, no I need to learn how to do it on my own. The woman that I met last week was coming after me and she was riding Tego. I handed him off to her and she is now planning to take lessons from Laurie like me. Although, she had much more equipment than I did, but hey I am on a budget here. I am sure she had a great time as well.

I came home and got ready and then we went to see Katherine. We got balloons to to the release. We were all wearing our Katherine pins and the man at the store blowing up the balloons asked the kids if it was their sister's first birthday. They said it was and they never asked where the baby was. Oh well, some things are best left unsaid.

We arrived at Fairmount and tied up her balloon. We sang her happy birthday and sent up the other ones to her in heaven. I am sure she has them by now. Happy Birthday my little Angel!

I had arranged to go to Bonfils to give a blood donation in honor of Katherine. So, that is where we headed next. Mike dropped me off and I went in. Mike took the kids to the nearby library. I went in and filled out a two page questionnaire and then turned it in and began to prepare myself for the donation. The nurse called me into the evaluation room and went over the questions. I had checked that I had lived in Europe for more than three months. She asked me when I had lived there and for how long. I told her and then she informed me that I was forever ineligible to donate blood because I could potentially have been exposed to Mad Cow Disease. Oh, well, the best made plans of mice and men often go awry. I tried, I planned, but they would not take me because I have lived abroad in a country nearly twenty years ago. Their loss I suppose, I am a great candidate in my humble opinion. What a waste of time. I called Mike about 20 minuets after dropping me off and he said, "Your done already?" I said "I am done forever." So, just as a public service reminder to anyone planning to donate blood, you cannot donate if you have ever lived in any country in Europe at any point in your life. I wish they had said that on their web site.

Mike came and picked me up and then we went out to dinner to celebrate Katherine's birthday as we do the other kids. The difference was that we did not have to go to Chuck E Cheese. Hallelujah! We all enjoyed a great dinner at Texas Roadhouse. It was a nice way to end the evening.

I am still planning to go tomorrow to The Crossing to work for their lunch shift. I am pretty sure they will not care if I have lived in Europe. I will plan to write later about that and post the pictures from the graveside.

I have had several people ask me about visiting Katherine. If you would ever like to join us, we usually go on Saturday afternoon to see her. Feel free to call me and let me know if you would ever like to join us. Katherine will love the company.

My New Chaps

2010-01-10T18:37:00.000-08:00

So, as promised here are the new chaps along with the new paddock boots. The boots are ankle length and then the chaps hit me below the knee. They are so nice and comfortable. So much better than my other ones. Thanks to the Nelson's for the generous Christmas money that allowed me to go and get them.

I had another great lesson yesterday. I can barely walk again today, but it is so worth it. Laurie taught my lesson. She has been in Vail these last several weeks and I have been taking from Sarah instead. But, Laurie was there and she taught and did great. She made me work hard as it should be. There was another woman watching the lesson who is thinking about starting she looked to be about my age. Laurie told me that she had invited her to come and watch me ride. So, there was a little extra pressure. I was able to do a jumping pattern. I started by trotting over the cross rails and then turning at the canter and jumping over two more rails next to each other. It was fun and a great challenge. But, I did not fall off and Tego made me look great as usual. It was a great ride. Going to the barn these past several months have been so healing for me. It is nice to go to a place and forget all my troubles and heavy burdens that I am carrying right now. I love it.

A new Year and New Chaps

2010-01-04T13:57:00.000-08:00

So, on Saturday I finally went and bought my new half chaps for riding Monetgo. They are so nice and look great with the boots. I finally look like I kind of belong there at the barn with the new equipment. I am so excited to wear them and break them in. I went for a lesson on Saturday and it went really well. There is another adult (two other men) that ride Montego as well. He went before me and so Tego was nice and warmed up for me, it was a great lesson. I did some trot pole work and then did a lot of cantering around the arena. I am still sore from this, I knew I was going to be sore on that day. Very bouncy the canter, I am still paying for the great fun and challenge but it was totally worth it. The canter is a slow, collected gallop. It sounds simple right, just sit right while a 1,500 pound animal is running. It is very difficult to remain balanced especially around the turns. I need to learn how to counter balance my weight with his weight to better facilitate the turns. That is what I worked on for about 20 minuets. We were both hot and sweaty when we finished. Thanks Tego, you did a great job as usual. He is wonderful, my new favorite person (oh, I mean horse.) I will take pictures of me in the new boots and chaps and post them soon.

We had a fun new years as well. We all went over and spent a great evening with our friends the Chadwicks, Howells, and Harts. Thanks Kristie for having us over. We dined on pizza and soda and had a yummy dessert from Melissa. We all played Apples to Apples. So much fun. I think I was in bed around 9:00 and then woke up at midnight to hear all the fire works and cheering going on.

Our new year's day was spent shopping for a Christmas tree and going out to eat. Mike was given a gift card from some of his co-workers for his graduation. So, we went out and enjoyed a great meal at Outback Steakhouse. It was not the most kid friendly, but it is Mike's favorite. The kids did great, and enjoyed the food.

We then went on a hunt for a tree. I had gotten rid of the old one, it was not full looking and several lights were not working. So, we looked at Lowe's, nothing there. We then went to Home Depot and they had a great one for $35. It was the last one and already set up. We placed it in a cart and were walking to the registers to pay for it. We were stopped by a woman saying is this the 7 1/2 tree for $35? I said it was, but it was the last one. She then got very upset and said she had called earlier that day and asked to have her name placed on it for her to buy. She was quite upset and storming down to the Customer Service counter to complain. Mike and I looked at each other and decided we did not need the tree that bad and walked it down to her. She was surprised and the poor workers at the store relived. So, then we went to Wal-Mart. They had a tree for the same price except it was gold. It was quite possibly the ugliest thing I have ever seen. I opened the box looked in and then closed it and walked away. Nothing to see here, lets move on. So then it was Michel's, nothing there. Finally, it was about 6:30 and I was ready to call it a night. Mike said lets just go to Penny's and look. Well, sure enough they had one that was green and very nice. It came in a box which was even better. They were running a deal that day and we got $10 off our purchase, so the tree ended up to be about the same price. In the end it worked out. It was quite the process, who knew that getting a tree would be so much work? I will love looking at it next year and enjoy the fruits of our labor.

It's Beggining to Look a lot like Christmas

2009-12-28T17:02:00.000-08:00

So, here are the pictures of the last couple of days around our house. A lot going on as usual. This one of Juliana was not my favorite, but she insisted on putting it on, so here you go. She was a little bit grumpy going into opening presents, but she soon warmed up to it. We had a really great Christmas and Christmas Eve. Mike had to work on Christmas Eve so, the kids and I planned a fun day to pass the time. In the morning we went to Skate City where every Thursday they offer a $4 class for an hour an half of skating. What a great deal, my kids loved it. We were the only ones there. There were more Skate City workers than class members, but they were all so cute and fun with my kids. They skated and I read a book, fun had by all. I just finished Micheal Connelly's newest book "9 Dragons." It was really good, entertaining and thought provoking as usual. The end took my by surprise, but he usually does that every time I read him. I highly recommend it for those who enjoy crime fiction. So, back to the festivities. I had the kids open up presents from Grandma and Grandpa Nelson and Romney that morning. Grandma Nelson picked out really cute jammies for the kids and then gave them money. We used our money to go and see Princess and the Frog. The kids loved it, it was really cute and the perfect way to spend the afternoon. The next day was Christmas morning. The kids woke up around 7:00 and then we opened up presents. They loved what they got. Mike got a nice shirt and I was given some great gift cards which I have already spent! Thanks dear you are the best! I then cooked a turkey and made a nice Christmas dinner with all the trimmings. It was yummy if I say so myself. That night we were invited over to some friend's house and put together some boxes for service men overseas as a service project. It was a fun evening of service and visiting. Thanks again Ames' for having us over, we had a great time.

We went to see Katherine as well, her headstone has been placed and looks beautiful. Let me know if anyone wants to come with me to see it sometime, anyone is welcome.

Hope everyone had a great Christmas! Looking forward to having a fun New Year's Eve as well.

Our big Peanut News

2009-12-23T17:16:00.000-08:00

I failed to mention in the last post our other really great news that we found out on Monday. I took Joseph in for his peanut allergy food challenge test at the allergy doctor. The food challenge test involves a person giving Joseph a little peanut butter at a time. This made me nervous since this was the first time he has eaten it in almost nine years. But earlier this summer he had gone in and was re-tested for his allergies. His reaction to the tests were very slight and the doctor was fairly certain that he was no longer allergic. He then recommended the test. So, there we were in the doctor's office, the kids were watching Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer and Joseph was eating peanut butter and having apple juice to wash it all down. It was quite the scene. But, he ate all of it in small doses and then she watched him for over an hour while he ate it. He passed and is no longer allergic to anything. Peanut butter sandwiches here we come.

My Big Birthday Girls

2009-12-23T09:02:00.000-08:00

So, here are a ton of really cute pictures of the festivities that we have enjoyed the last couple of days. The girl's had their 5th birthday party this past Saturday. We all went to Chuck-E-Cheese and then Red Robin for dinner. They each invited a friend. So, the other cute girls are Ellen the cute red head and Phoebe the cute blond. They had so much fun at Chuck-E-Cheese and then all dined on macaroni and cheese. I enjoyed the cheese burger, so yummy. They all had a great time. The cute dress up clothes are from Grandma Nelson and the pretty church dresses are from Grandma Romney. Thanks guys, they look so cute in them. Happy 5th Birthday my dear sweet Rachel and Juliana. I sure love you!

We also went to our ward's Christmas party and Joseph and Juliana sat on Santa's lap. Rachel had nothing to do with him and was crying and very upset as usual when it comes to Santa. Oh well, maybe next year for her. Merry Christmas to everyone.

The Big Weekend

2009-12-13T20:09:00.000-08:00

Well, the long anticipated weekend has come and gone.

We as a family along with Ron and Margaret enjoyed the graduation of Michael Joseph Nelson. He received his MBA from the University of Colorado, Denver yesterday. The graduation was held downtown at the convention center. The kids and I rode the light rail down there and they loved every minuet of riding it to and from Denver. I had packed a large bag of toys to keep them entertained, but they did not play with any of it of course. Mike's parents went early with him and saved us some seats right up front near the graduates. The kids did really well and were troopers sitting through the long ceremony. Fortunately, there were no long winded speeches, very brief remarks and then the presentation of each graduate. Mike looked very distinguished and handsome in his black robe and the graduate colored collar. It was blue and gold which represented what collage he graduated in. We all wore Katherine pins to help keep her close to us. The kids and I felt her there as well. After the ceremony, there was a business collage reception held and we had some cake and lemonade. Then the kids got to ride the train home. But, not before Joseph got to go see the big blue bear. For some strange reason, there is a two story size big blue bear that stands outside the convention center facing inside the large windows of the main entrance. Joseph is obsessed with this. He loves to say, and I quote "Big Blue Bears Bare Bottom." Oh, the joys of a nine year old boy. So, unknown to me, as we were leaving the building, Grandpa Nelson gave Joseph a boost up to the bear bottom and Joseph spanked his bottom. Needless to say he was delighted! Thanks to Ron for making Joseph's dream come true. Joseph is still laughing about it.

We got home in time to attend Joseph's piano recital in which he played a great version of "Frosty the Snowman." He did so good, we were all delighted to see him perform. We then all went out for dinner to Chile's for a great dinner. Thanks to Ron and Margaret for treating us, it was yummy and we had lots of leftovers. We then went home and celebrated Mike's birthday by enjoying some strawberry pie and ice cream. Happy 35th birthday dear. I sure love you and are proud of all your hard work for your degree.

The night before, Mike and I had a great date night at the annual Janus Christmas party. We did not go last year because I was so sick. We really had a great time. It was held at the Marriott Downtown. So, we went downtown twice this weekend. We were riding the light rail a lot! The party was great. They had a great buffet with yummy food. Mike really enjoyed the shrimp and prime rib. I liked the risotto bar where I could order my risotto with what I wanted on the top. So good, that was my favorite thing that night. They had a great live jazz group playing. We sat and listened to them for a while and then called it a night. It was a great date night, thanks dear for taking me.

I was also able to break my new boots in with Montego, I had another great lesson on Friday. I worked on steering through turns and going over trot poles. It was a challenge, but so much fun I love it.

On Wednesday, we had our last night of group therapy at Children's. The kids are sad that it is over. We all really enjoyed doing it as a family. We are planning to go to the Christmas party this week. We will miss going, it has been really good for our whole family to enjoy what they had to offer.